Earlier this week, we had a
"strategic partner",
a vendor,
a dear friend...
visit our company to talk about our "FUTURE"...
Several times throughout the conversation, he would stress...
"I am loyal to you."
"I want to be loyal."
"Being loyal to you is really important to me."
And, every time I felt like we were talking different languages.
In college, when I was President of my fraternity, brothers would talk of "loyalty" with the thought "We are brothers.... You have to be loyal to me... To support me.... NO MATTER WHAT!"
In my work life, I have had people get angry with me because I wasn't "loyal" to them, and I disagreed with them in important meetings...
Loyalty is so often expected... so often misunderstood...
in business and in life...
what is LOYALTY?
To me, LOYALTY is not always doing, working, believing or even loving the same thing or person that you have always done, worked, believed or loved.
I don't think it's disloyal if a strategic partner stops working with me.
I don't think it's disloyal if a business partner disagrees with me in public.
I don't think it's disloyal if a client stops using us.
I don't even think it's disloyal if an employee leaves or if a marriage doesn't stay together forever..
LOYALTY is to always care about the integrity of an individual or relationship.
LOYALTY is to always wanting the very best for them.
LOYALTY is telling the truth, specially when it's hard.
A single dimension of loyalty is simple. And, no relationship exists with a single dlmension of loyalty, IN a simple two person relationship, you have...
1. My loyalty to you.
2. Your loyalty to me.
3. My loyalty to myself!
4. Your loyalty to yourself!
I don't want a strategic partner to continue to serve my interests, if it is no longer in their greatest self interest.
I don't want a client to continue to use our services, if it no longer serves their need in the most beneficial way.
I don't want an employee to stay in our company, if it no longer meets their own interests in the best way possible.
I don't want anyone to "support" me in an argument or an issue, if they disagree with my premise or conclusion.
Because if you being loyal to me means doing what is RIGHT for me at the cost of doing what is WRONG for you - I'd be DISLOYAL if I allowed you to do it!
LOYALTY should NOT mean I DO WHAT I'VE ALWAYS DONE. It does not require me to behave as I have always behaved. It should NOT mean I WILL BE WITH YOU FOREVER. IF - forever no longer makes sense.
As companies and as human beings - if we are healthy - WE ARE EVOLVING.
LOYALTY should ultimately mean HONESTY!
To be loyal is to always be courageously candid, caring and concerned about each other's integrity.... not to always keep doing what we've always done... and certainly not to keep being who we've always been...
LOYALTY should always respect each other's need to continue to evolve...
And, the greatest probability of remaining together over time is to be courageously candid, caring and concerned about each other... and, if we evolve in different directions... as companies or as people... being loyal to you requires me to let go.
When meeting with this wonderful friend, this kindred spirit, this strategic partner... all I expect from him is honesty... and he always delivers. It's the same exact thing I would ask a client who is dissatisfied or an employee who is leaving...
- How are you EVOLVING? What is the RIGHT and BEST path forward for you?
- How could I possibly help you or support you to achieve your strategy, your dreams, your expectations (WITHOUT stepping on or compromising my own)?
- Am I doing ANYTHING that his holding you back?
My job as CEO is to MAXIMIZE both the extent to which their personal strategy overlaps with the company's strategy, and the duration! My loyalty to them, makes me want the very best for them... and my job as CEO is to deliver on their needs with EMG if at all possible, or help them find or support them in their next venture when we no longer can.
My job as CEO is to work to MAXIMIZE the value that we bring to our target clients in the market... and what services we use to make that value real could evolve... and the definition of who our target clients is could shift some over time... and in order to best serve our key client, we may over time make us shed other clients... It's all part of a healthy evolution.
And, the loyalty I expect from our employees, partners, and clients is honesty.... an honest assessment of how well we serve them, and how well we are executing our mission.... I don't expect to be perfect. I do expect to be better and better over time.
Being loyal to others, in my heart, means wanting the very best for them with the same integrity and passion, if not more, that I want the best for myself...
And, in business and in life, that sometimes doesn't mean forever buying the same products or having the same behavior in our relationship that we have always had... interacting in the same way...
LOYALTY means FOREVER believing and supporting WHO you are... and telling you candidly along the way how well you are doing or how far you are straying - from your own greatness...
LOYALTY means caring like crazy about your on going evolution and growth and about the ultimate success and integrity of your journey.
I don't want my clients, my customers, my friends to always stick with me no matter what... I want them to challenge me with the truth... to be the greatest version of myself, to hold me to my own definition of greatness...
Being loyal to me as a company - means buying my services as long as I am best serving your needs, and then telling me if I ever disappoint you, let you down or cause you concern about my ability to keep doing so...
THAT is being LOYAL.
To be loyal to each other - means to always be committed to each other's growth, purpose, and success... even if it costs us the known comfort and the current benefit of the relationship we have always enjoyed...
EVEN if the truth you see is hard to share...
EVEN if the truth you share, in my own interest, will hurt me.
And perhaps most important of all...
LOYALTY means mutually, ferociously, tenaciously, and tirelessly working to find the way to make OUR journey, OUR growth, OUR evolution OVERLAP with integrity ...
if there is ANY possible way to do so...
So that...
WE can best continue look after each other... and help each other succeed...
even if in the end,
we are not buying each other's services or holding each other's hands...
In its purest form, being LOYAL means always supporting the greatest version of YOU,
even if it no longer serves or includes me...
THAT
IS
LOYALTY...
in business,
in life,
and
in harmony,
Nestor