I can't help myself...
When in conversations,
I find myself listening as much, if not more, to WHY people choose to say what they say, as to WHAT they actually say...
I am interested in what they say, and I pay attention as much as I can...
But, I am drawn to... WHY are they choosing to go down this path? Not out out of distrust, or judgement (though there may be some of that I can't control), but out of curiosity and interest.
What conversation people lead with off first, is interesting.
But, even more interesting, is how others RESPOND to the original idea.
When people join in:
Do they EXPAND on it - to LEARN more?
Do they COMPETE for a better example - to WIN and feel smarter, superior, worthy?
Do they IGNORE - based on a lack of interest or respect?
Do they LINGER with their words and thoughts longer than the group is willing to listen...
Do they CONTRIBUTE with a quick comment to add color and perspective and move on...
Do they INTERRUPT (one of my weaknesses)... and if so, do they do it because they feel they have a "BETTER" answer, or because they can't contain their IMPULSE to share their part?
Even if they have a "better" answer... why do they feel the better answer is needed?
Conversations are like a dance... you give, you take, you spin, you move, you stay in your step and repeat and add a little more... you start a new step... occassionaly you change your partner... you come back... and then you get in a circle and everyone has a chance on the dance floor to show their stuff...
The fun is in the exchange... in the variety... in the FLOW.
Yesterday running, I thought to myself...
"Life is a dance... a dance with your own EGO. And, to live a joyful life, you need to dance with your ego (because you have no choice), but you can't let him lead."
When our EGO's lead... we lose.
I notice that when I am in conversations with multiple people, I do better to listen, to observe, to learn...
I don't want to compete...
I sometimes ask myself WHY I am in the conversation in the first place?
To experience... to share... to learn... to observe... to love...
I enjoy the exchange. I LOVE the people I am in the conversations with... and I try really hard not to judge...
I just can't help myself...
but to look for the WHY...
to look for the IS...
to look for the WANT...
and to avoid the WISH...
in conversations,
and
in harmony,
Nestor