HAPPY NEW YEAR, my fellow harmonizers...
I am sorry for my unexpected sabatical. Part of it is that life has been full, and certainly my mind has also been full, generally in a good way. And, part of it is that I am struggling to pick something to write about... only because there is SO MUCH to choose from, SO MUCH to explore / question / understand... and because writing "quickly" as I do, seems too simple for some of the topics in my mind...
Anyway... here we are... a brand new year... and a brand new opportunity to understand the world better, to create a better version of ourselves, and to find greater harmony in more moments.
I've been reading an AMAZING book, "Why Buddhism Is True" by Robert Wright.
READ IT, READ IT, READ IT!!! I just can't do it justice, and writing about it seems so overly simple. The more I read and understand Buddhism the more I respect it... for those friends that are very religious, I share this quote from the Dalai Lama,
"Don't try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a better Buddhist; use it to be a better whatever-you-already are."
There are some fantastic thoughts about what is "TRUTH", which always brings me back to the absolute truth, and the concept of the "IS".
My understanding of harmony is very much built on the reality that we all live in a "filtered" world... in filtered "moments" by our own mind. And, the concept of "embracing the IS of the moment", is about becoming more aware of how our minds, our past, our fears, our being... shapes our views of reality... of the "IS".
I have written about the importance of the "IS", and how very difficult it is to see the truth of things with true clarity and objectivity. It's essentially "impossible" to do it perfectly, so we must simply attempt to do it 'better' and a little less 'imperfectly'.
The whole teaching of Buddhism, of meditation, or mindfulness is understanding our own bias, our own perception, our own feelings... and by doing so, starting to understand life more clearly... independent of "the self"... and the craziness that our minds like to add...
So, I strongly encourage you to buy the book... to own the book... and to slowly read the book. It may cause you never to need to read about harmony again ;-(, but I am willing to take that chance.
One of the concepts in the book that stuck with me is the idea that we act based on our "feelings" more so than on our "knowledge". While I knew this concept generally, I have been more mindful of it.
I "know" my wife loves me. But, in moments where I am "feeling" her love, our relationship and my thoughts and behavior about the relationship is completely different. I am a much nicer and better husband, when I "feel" her love.
I "know" my colleagues all have the best intent for our company. But, in moments where I "feel" their intent, I have a different level of confidence. I support them much more intelligently and effectively. I think bigger and see further down our collective path.
It's hard to describe the difference between "knowing" and "feeling", but it's a MASSIVE difference. "Knowing" is the left part of the brain. "Feeling" is the right part of the brain. (see Ted talk "A Stroke of Insight").
When we "know" but we don't "feel" something, we don't fully trust it. (Sometimes, we don't trust it at all... "trust" is a feeling).
When we "know" but we don't "feel" something, we don't have confidence in it. "Confidence" is a feeling.
When we "know" but we don't "feel" something, we don't find joy in it. "Joy"... you get it.
I think that part of what works about my approach to life is that I am very rational (or, at least, I'd like to believe that I am very rational ;-)... But, I am also committed to FEELING things... and I am constantly trying to bounce between objective understanding of feelings, and feeling things...
PEOPLE sense when you feel... they don't sense when you know... because sensing is a feeling ;-)
When we read leadership books, we see the ideas... we strive to "know" the ideas... but do we commit to "feeling" the ideas?
If it's true, and I believe that it is, that at the end of the day, people choose their actions, their behaviors... based on their FEELINGS... not what they know. As leaders, as human beings, it's not about what we can TEACH people to know... but what we can ACHIEVE people to FEEL...
And, the only way to ACHIEVE feelings is to CONVEY feelings..., which requires us TO FEEL!
It is so simple, so powerful... and so hard to put into words.
Likely, you read these conversations, in small part, because they provide you something new to know... but think about it sincerely... do you read these conversations because of the knowledge it brings you... or because of how reading it makes you feel?
"Feelings" are so often TABOO. On countless moments I have spoken to the power of my rationality, of my objectivity... as my greatest strength. And, now, while I do think objectivity is extremely important... I believe that rational objectivity in and of itself, without FEELING... is useless.
I do not want to be "guided" by my "feelings". I do not want to "lead" or "react" with an "emotional" response. I think those thoughts are of emotions or feelings, disassociated from objectivity and rationality.
Now, I get that I must lead with "FEELING" (which is "emotional") based on objectivity and reason. It is the ONLY effective way to lead and to communicate.
Once again... the power of AND ;-)
A brand new year!
So much to learn...
So much to understand...
So much to feel...
in harmony,
Nestor