Why is it harder to write?
Perhaps because I feel like I’ve said it all before.
And yet, the conversation in my own mind continues...
But, it’s different than it once was.
My mind is quieter, more peaceful, more focused, less urgent than it was just a few weeks ago.
I had an amazing break in November - unplugged from the world but connected to myself, and a group of wonderful and amazing people I had never met before.
I learned, or perhaps embraced, a few meaningful truths about how I think, behave and live... that have absolutely helped me achieve a deeper, better state of harmony.
Sometimes I don’t write, because I don’t know where to catch you up in the conversation that is ever present in my mind.
Sometimes I don’t write, because I question my own arrogance in thinking anyone will find value in my musings... (though from your gracious comments and notes - I know that there are at least a few of you who do).
Life is such a beautiful journey... learning about the universe, the world, each other, ourselves... keeps us alive!
I am 51 years old, and there are so many things that I have just recently come to know - that help me love myself and my life and those around me so much more fully...
I don’t write as much for all the wrong reasons...
For the same reasons that we don’t ask ourselves the basic and important questions...
Why do I exist?
What matters?
What am I grateful for?
Where am I seeing beauty now?
What hurts?
What is keeping me from me?
We get so wrapped up in the doing in life that we so very often dismiss
the thinking
the being
the loving
The exploring
in life...
And, it’s the exploring where we find
The doors
The keys
The lessons
Ourselves...
The conversation,
My conversation,
Is not over...
About harmony,
About success,
About happiness...
About life...
In so many important ways,
It is only just beginning...
Never give up! Never stop asking yourself the important questions. Never stop dreaming. Never stop exploring!
One of the greatest insights that I learned, or better said - that I accepted and embraced, in my week away...
Is that I don’t want to be a “better version” of myself...
I actually want to be a “truer version” of myself...
It’s not about me becoming “more”, but about me becoming “less”...
About me becoming me...
It’s not that “I” am great, it’s that every one of us truly is an amazing, beautiful, harmonious soul.
And, this whole pursuit of harmony, I understand now, is a pursuit of truth... the truth of life, the truth of love, the truth of connectedness, the truth of you... and very importantly,
The truth of me...
The purest, truest, most liberated “me”...
That’s where I am headed...
And, it doesn’t exist “out there somewhere”.
It exists deep in my heart and mind...
The pursuit of harmony - is our own journey toward accepting that -
WE already ARE..
...
I am already who I want to be, who I’ve dreamt of being, who I admire, who I respect, who makes me proud...
That amazing vision of a man, that I have been admiring on my wall...
He doesn’t exist outside of “me”... heck, he doesn’t exist WITHOUT me. In fact,
He sleeps in my bed...
He lives in my core...
He inspires my mind...
He lights up my soul...
And, he hides in my heart...
So very well...
Because he
Has been hiding for so long...
And, occasionally...
I see him,
In the distance,
In the silence of my mind,
In the warmth of my heart,
In the light of of my soul...
In absolute truth!
In harmony,
Nestor