I sit in a lot of meetings...
It’s an important part of what I do.
Not the meeting thing - but the attempt to bring together lots of information, multiple people, and set a path forward to progress...
I am so often amazed by the on-going struggle to make meetings effective.
It’s not easy.
And, it’s not easy because human beings aren’t typically easy, when it comes to communication.
And, in my opinion, it’s because of two things;
1. Our EGO’s fight for space in the room - Our egos take the conversations in directions that are often unnecessary, wanting to hear ourselves talk, wanting to sell our ideas harder than we should, pushing back against ideas that we didn’t conceive, scare us in some way, or that we haven’t yet accepted... (but the ego part is for another conversation)...
2. For some reason - when we have meetings, we want to adopt an impersonal, pseudo-robotic style of communication that too often focuses on process and agenda above communication and progress... above conversation.
It’s about people... EVERYTHING is...
And, HUMAN BEINGS LIKE CONVERSATION!
When “MEETINGS” become about “process” and about “agendas”... we so very often miss the PURPOSE and the OBJECTIVE of coming together as human beings.
We spend so much money on getting people to the meetings... we invest so much money and time... in the hope of making progress...
From a business standpoint, there is an urgency for return on investment.
From a human standpoint, nobody enjoys or gets satisfaction from wasting time.
And, so often we do...
and, we don’t HAVE TO...
why just have a meeting - when you can have a conversation?
How are “great conversations” different than most meetings?
1. DIALOGUE - There is TWO-WAY communication. If there is no desire for TWO-WAY communication, why are we coming together? Just send the information via email, or send a video, or do a WebEx, where people can be working in parallel if needed. If you are going to spend time and money gathering people, physically or virtually, make it TWO-WAY... encourage questions, dialogue, exploration... build in time for it.
2. FLUIDITY - Allow the meeting and the conversation to flow. Be willing to modify the agenda as you go - to serve the meeting and the people in it. I am not saying embrace chaos, I am saying have a clear objective and allow it to evolve and mature and be realized throughout the meeting. If people are squirming - take a break. If people are hungry - eat! If people are confused - slow down... Communication, exploration, THINKING requires iterative steps and engaged minds... allow natural steps to happen, don’t truncate them, dismiss them, or ignore them... because people mentally check out. .. if you are not including them in the conversation.
3. SURPRISE - Conversations often go places you didn’t expect them to... if you have competent people in the room discussing relevant topics - allow the conversation to go where the need takes it... even if it doesn’t fit the exact formula you had crafted.
4. PERSONAL - Make it personal... It’s about people... don’t be afraid to speak your mind - about how the conversation makes you feel... Obviously, as long as it is business relevant... but people’s feelings and stories are extremely relevant to where the business ends up going and how it gets there. What makes conversations meaningful and engaging is very often the level of humanity and personal capital that is committed to it... don’t let meetings be impersonal.
NOTE: Obviously, I am making the assumption here that I am talking to rational, mature people. Any of these points can be taken to a level of dysfunction if allowed to drift aimlessly or unreasonably. Human communication is both an art and a science. It must be given room AND guided. In no way, am I recommending a free-for-all, no-rules exchange. I believe passionately about having a clear objective for the meetings that is explicit, understood and shared by the group. AND, I believe in allowing room around that objective to re-define it (occasionally) if it serves the larger conversation regarding the higher objective of the group to deliver on the strategy.
The differences between a meeting and a conversation are important:
Meetings tend to (or should) have a clearer pre-determined and communicated objective. That is great. Have that... and modify the agenda or objective if the entire group agrees that a bigger, more important objective is necessary as a result of the conversations going on in the meeting. Changing objective should be rare. Changing details of the agenda should be frequent - but deliberate. Make changes to the agenda because the group benefits from a different sequence or flow, not because someone always speaks too long. Or, agree to have another meeting/conversation about the new objective and stick to the original one. But, ALLOW for the conversation to consider it.
If you do NOTHING ELSE... I urge you to CHECK-IN with your group during a meeting...
”How is everyone feeling today?”
”Do we agree on the objective for today? Anything we want to modify?”
”Does the agenda still make sense?”
”I haven’t heard anyone chime in for awhile... do you understand and agree with the discussion thusfar?”
“What do you think?”
”How would this apply to you?”
”What concerns you?”
”What should we do from here?”
”How was the day?”
”What are our priorities from here?”
“What would you do / have done differently?”
...
Meetings can be,
should be,
the epicenters of progress
of connection,
of communication,
of CONVERSATION!
You get the idea...
It’s about PEOPLE - EVERYTHING is...
Make all communication...
to the best of your ability
a candid and meaningful conversation...
in harmony,
Nestor