I was running along the snowy trail this morning,
thinking about talking to thousands of people on the phone Thursday.
I kept thinking about how to best communicate - and it was really clear...
This folks is as clear as I get...
1. CONNECT
2. ENERGIZE
3. INFORM
Stick with me here. I am not saying it's easy... I am saying try to hear and digest these thoughts...
Communication, when speaking to many or speaking to one, happens as a direct function of these three principles.
CONNECT - We connect through gratitude, through empathy, and through shared fate. We connect emotionally, intuitively and we connect rationally. We connect differently with different people, and if we feel no connection we usually achieve no effective communication.
Connection establishes trust - if I don't trust you on some level, why would I listen to you? If I don't trust that you have some understanding or some interest in who I am, it is hard to overcome the human tendency to disengage and distance myself from you.
Connection brings us closer. When we connect as human beings... we open up a pathway to collaboration, we open up a willingness to know more, to think differently... When we feel connected to other human beings... better is possible... in ourselves and in the world around us. Connection with other human beings is what we most seek... and the principle where all good starts.
ENERGIZE - This is the principle that is most misunderstood. Each of us are energized in different ways, and we think that energy only comes in ways that we can see. But, energizing people doesn't require volume, nor large hand gestures, nor overly dramatic entrances nor conclusions.
Ultimately, there are two energy sources... ME and YOU. The funny thing is no one can energize anyone else. See, here is the thing... IF we are ENERGIZED about our purpose, about that which we are talking about, that which we are doing... AND, we CONNECT... then the ENERGY FLOWS. Energy motivates, initiates, and accelerates action. Each of us has our own power source that drives us. Once we connect, we have the possibility of cross-resourcing and exchanging energy. Once we connect - we create the possibility of inspiring each other to pursue our interests with greater zeal. But, energy is invisible... unless it is extreme, it is felt only if we pay close attention. Most often we feel it simply as gravity... as the desire to be close to someone, spend time with someone, listen to someone, push harder for someone...
INFORM - This is the principle that requires the most patience... Even though we don't behave this way in our own lives - we expect others to behave this way. When it comes to us... we never want anyone to tell us what to do. When it comes to others... we want to tell them exactly what to do.
You see the only way we can truly inform people... is for them to come to the conclusions on their own. I love the quote, "You can't teach anyone anything, you can only expose people to ideas, and they decide which to embrace and adopt." (Unknown author). If we are able to CONNECT and ENERGIZE... then the best that we can do is to spread the seeds of our ideas, of our principles, of our understanding... and hope that they can grow roots in the thoughts of others... and that they can nurture them, grow them and harvest them for themselves. We don't control the fruit... we only influence the seeds.
The more connection we establish... the more energy we exchange... the greater the probability that the seeds will be adopted... and the result remains out of our hands. But, that is ok... because that is how people, relationships, business, communities... grow... Not by our hand, but by the ripples from each of us on each other...
The only way to achieve greatness... The only way to achieve meaning... is to influence others, to collaborate with others, and to ultimately become part of something bigger than ourselves...
Communication is the way we do that... All types of communication.
You can think through these principles in all dimensions... and situations.
Our role as parents is difficult because we fail to connect and enegize with our children who are playing on a different generational field. We try to "inform" them with too much specificity, and if we are not careful as they grow up... we grow apart... But, if we find ways to stay connected... to share our energy... amazing relationships bloom.
Our role as leaders and managers is difficult because we too often fail to make the purpose of our business personal - and again we fail to connect and energize. We believe that because we are "the boss" we can tell people what to do, or that we know better... it is when we realize we don't know better... and that we can't actually teach anyone anything - that we have the possibility of leading effectively.
This is why emails can be so lifeless and misunderstood. This is why using video conferencing is better. This is why nothing ultimately beats face to face for human interaction.
If we connect and energize but provide no meaningful and deliberate seeds... people use our energy and inspiration to potentially feed their own... or the ones they found for themselves in our thoughts... but connection and energy without meaningful and deliberate seeds creates random expansion. If we want focused strategic, cultural growth in our organizations - the seeds must be thoughtful and deliberate. We don't control the outcome - but we can best influence the direction this way.
It requires PATIENCE... and it starts with empathy and gratitude.
Connect and Energize without Inform risks being a momentary high... With meaningful and powerful seeds - it becomes a great long run, on a bright sunny morning, in a beautiful wood... It has the possibility of sustaining us... of strengthening us... of inspiring us for better.
Folks - this is my secret sauce... my magic formula... this is my most valuable insight...
I chuckle at the thought of putting it out there, and then I realize that these principles without authenticity are meaningless. I realize that these are just more seeds that I am sprinkling into the world around me. I realize they are ultimately not even mine... they are the summary of the ones I find more valuable... They have the potential to bear the fruit that I want those I know and care about to harvest... They are the seeds that I work everyday to grow myself... They are the principles that I believe... if we can create ripples... can change lives.
CONNECT...
ENERGIZE...
INFORM...
Mic drop...
in harmony,
Nestor