“We are in the habit of looking at things.
But often we don’t see them.
Instead,
we see our concept of them,
and the meanings they have for us.”
Alan Seiler - author, “coaching to the human soul”
It’s amazing how this world is so tied together.
A dear friend and business partner gave me this AMAZING book called, COACHING TO THE HUMAN SOUL... I know, with a title like that, how can you not read it ;-)
It puts a structure behind coaching with what is known as “Ontological Coaching”.
”Ontological Coaching” was co-developed it turns out by the one and only Julio Olalla, who coined the quote that I love...
”WIsdom is a love affair with questions. Knowledge is a love affair with answers.”
This book is rich with insights beyond what I can share in these conversations... but if you appreciate these conversations - you will LOVE this book. It’s kind of like graduate level harmony...
I am only about 70 pages into the nearly 400 page book, but WOW, WOW, WOW...
I will try to dedicate several conversations to this book over the coming week and will try to give ALL of the credit of these thoughts to Alan and his colleagues.
So much of what I read yesterday speaks to the “IS” and why it’s so hard to really see, understand the “IS”... the quote I started this conversation with says it so clearly...
”We are in the habit of looking at things.
But, we often don’t see them.”
I also love his thought,
”We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are...”
The hardest part of harmony, I am convinced, is observing our lives objectively...
At the heart of Ontological Coaching - is that we make our decisions, our reality is defined and exists based on three things:
- Our Language
- Our Emotions
- Our Body
The words we use MATTER. The state of emotion we are in - DEFINES the world we live in. And, the physical position from which we view the world INFLUENCES our outlook.
So, very powerful. And, when they refer to language they are not just talking about the words we say outloud, but as importantly (if not more so), the words and the conversation we have with ourselves inside our own mind...
I love the quote,
”Be careful how you see the world,
because it is that way...”. Unknown (from the book Essentialism, I think)
EVERYDAY I struggle to see the IS...
to see it objectively
and completely...
Perhaps the beginning of being able to TRULY see the IS of every moment,
is to realize that no matter how hard we try,
we are always affected by our own bias...
We live and collaborate in a world where we are all navigating our own history, our own egos, and our own interests and fears... and amidst that deafening noise...
We try to SEE each other...
So, very challenging...
UNDERSTANDING the “IS” then,
FINDING HARMONY...
becomes a “simple” function of
DEEPLY & OBJECTIVELY UNDERSTANDING
&
ELIMINATING
our own
BIAS...
That my friends
is the path toward
enlightenment...
and JOY!
I am convinced of it...
in harmony,
Nestor