I don’t know that we consider enough the difference between
”high expectations”
and
”perfection”.
But, I think that may be at the heart of some of my struggle...
I often think to myself and sometimes say out loud some version of...
”I have high expectations in life... I want it to matter. I want it to be meaningful. I want it to be joyful. I want it to build momentum and actually get better over time.”
I often judge people who I deem to be “perfectionists” - and see myself as “not them”.
And yet, as I look at the level of my disharmony on some days,
I have to ask myself the question -
“at what point does high expectations become perfectionism?”
It is very seldom that someone will self-select as a “perfectionist”... but many of us take pride in our “high expectations...”
When I think of it and in context... I ask myself the question - how much better does my life, do my relationships, does my work need to be in order to meet my “high expectations”?
Maybe “perfectionists” are not people who expect “perfect”, but who simply always expect “better”.... no matter what the level of performance truly is...
Theoretically, the difference between “high expectations” and “perfection” is that ONE should have a definition that INCLUDES a level of IMPERFECTION...
Am I tolerant of “imperfection” on any level?
I get that this can be a somewhat circular argument... but in simple terms, it helps me to reset my moment and make it more likely for me to accept the “IS”, the “truth” of my moment...
Do I want to live my life with “high expectations”... sure.
Do I want to live my life never being satisfied that “good enough” is “enough”?... heck no.
Then - what how “good” is “good enough”?
Throughout my life - I have slowly but steadily reached my expectations... and then somehow my expectations have shifted again beyond my reach. Setting new, higher expectations is great as long as we are able to OWN the progress we have made to date and take credit for the expectations that we have achieved... but when we reset expectations constantly without owning the progress we’ve made... then we are perfectionists in disharmony.
DEFINING what exactly my “high expectations” are will keep me from being a perfectionist... and that is a step that I have been too lazy to complete...
And, people with “high expectations” who fail to define those “high expectations” become “perfectionists” and in the process they (or I in this case) start living a life with more disharmony.
Live a life of high expectations...
OWN that... by DEFINING what the heck that means...
Or, risk peace of mind and a joyful existence...
Think about it...
I know I am.
in harmony,
Nestor