I suspect, like me, you have recently been hearing the words
“holding space”
More often in the past year…
If not, people speak to it as part of a more mindful and thoughtful way to communicate…
I love the idea of it… and the thought of it.
But, I was not exactly sure why, or what it specifically meant…
So, I looked up the definition…
One definition I found from Connor Beacon,
“Holding space is the process of witnessing and validating someone else’s emotional state while simultaneously being present to your own.”
Some call it communication without ego,
Some speak to it as communication without judgement,
Some speak to it as meeting someone where they are,
Or joining someone on their journey.
I love that it’s a concept that is still being defined by many,
While still being used more and more broadly because it captures so beautifully
A powerful concept about human connection and communication.
I love the concept and am trying to be more “aware” of it in all forms…
I believe the concept is true even with our relationship with ourselves.
I don’t know that I have a definition for it – but I certainly have a visual & conceptual understanding of it in my mind.
When I am “Holding Space”…
Time slows down, because holding space requires eliminating the external time pressures and urgencies often artificially placed on a moment by our ego or our distracted mind…
Awareness of you, “you” meaning whoever the space is being held for, even if it’s myself, or a group… because I am aware of the space between us… where my truth and your truth would collide, where it not for a deliberate “space” to allow one or the other to be seen on its own…
Presence… Focus… When I am conscious of holding space, I step into that space, and somehow it quiets down the outside world… and possibly the voices in my mind trying to influence my understanding of your truth…
Reduces Expectations… So many of our struggles or challenges come from having expectations of each other. And, often judgement and expectations collide, creating a communication where my mind is so full of gaps and deficiencies… But, when I hold space, it means having no expectations in that space… using that space to simply be present to experience you… to hear you…
Respect… When I am conscious of holding space, I am holding it for you – so I am respecting, accepting, witnessing your truth in whatever form you are able to share it… And, to me the ultimate respect is to see you exactly as you are…
Holding space is
Making time,
Reserving judgement,
Being Present,
Not just listening… but co-existing in a moment…
Holding space is both creating a buffer between the world, time and this specific moment…
And, it is also creating a protected place to meet in truth, in joy and in love…
Holding Space is the necessary step to being able to move our understanding of each other beyond…
To reach whatever next level of connection we dream about… to simply progress where we are…
It’s on the other side of that space… of that moment.
And, the “space” itself is where true beauty sits… true love and understanding and joy and peace… it’s in those moments where the external world, judgement, expectations falls away…
As we head into Thanksgiving week, I encourage you to really spend a little time with these words, with this concept of “holding space”…
How can you use them to make this the most joyful and gracious Thanksgiving ever?
Can you have moments where you hold space for yourself? For each of your children? For a dear friend? For your group of friends or family?
I think holding space for others is possibly the ultimate gift you could give anyone…
HOLDING SPACE, for those of you who understand and appreciate the concept of harmony, is a way to see the “IS” more completely, more clearly, more compassionately, the “absolute truth” of the moment…
And, harmony happens in each moment by embracing the IS and then moving that moment toward the WANT…
As I write this…
And “There Goes My Hero” plays in the background”…
I am all in and all here,
lost in these words
virtually looking each of you in the eyes
Feeling your truth
Grateful for your unique and amazing presence in my life
Life is simple
And beautiful…
Happy Thanksgiving Week!
Hold space…
In harmony,
Nestor