I was reading “How To Change Your Mind” yesterday, a book by Michael Pollan on how psychedelic drugs can be a powerful agent in helping you to see the world in a more meaningful way… A well written book with lots of research countering many myths on the topic.
He touches on two topics early in the book that struck a chord and caused me pause:
As adult human beings, we start to live by default, and as a result we start to miss the amazingness in so many things… We become consumed by the transactional noise of our everyday and our brains truly go into auto-pilot, worrying about so much that simply doesnt matter… It’s why when we travel or try new things it makes us see simple things in such new light…
We are so terribly insignificant as human beings… we are such a small spec in the universe. Life is so extremely quick and transient… When you think about the awesomeness of the universe… and of the vastness that we have no concept nor knowledge…. even to the vastness within earth and science itself… we are so bound by the dimensions that we understand…
So, I have those thoughts in my mind, and then I listened to Joe Rogan’s podcast with Elon Musk this morning where they go into similar topics…
Then this afternoon, I find out one of my colleagues Brian “Jake” Jakubiak died on Friday. And it took the wind out of me momentarily.
We hired Jake in October of 2011… and he was full of life. He brought great energy and great competence to our team, and I had the pleasure of having him in the office for two years before he moved out West. He was funny and kind. During our 25th Anniversary party for the company, he took it upon himself to make Jello Shots… and brought them served on a silver platter.
I remember the night on the boat party in 2015 when he told me that he had recently found out that he was sick. It didn’t sound good, but he was in such good spirits. He was going to fight it and spend as much time as he could with his kids. We had a wonderful night that night… sitting on the top deck watching the DC skyline… Kindness always filled his eyes, and a huge smile was ever present on his face.
I don’t think we’d actually talked since. We’d exchanged a few emails here and there always with kindness and pleasantries - but that night on the ship was 3 and a half years ago… How could I have not called him once?
He was in his mid 40’s… his kids are about 10 years old… and he is no longer with us… His manager talked to him on Monday…
Life is short.
How much of my life do I spend on auto-pilot? How much of my time do I spend managing and talking about the simple transactions of my days?
How much of my life do I spend reaching out to people I know and care about, who I know are in some sort of pain?
How in awe do we live … how aware of the amazing beauty and comfort that surrounds us?
Or, how much do we take those amazing things for granted… and replace them with frustration over nothingness?
I am sad about Jake… sad for his family… sad not to ever see his smiling face or feel the warm friendliness of his eyes… He is gone way too soon…
I know this conversation may be a bit all over the place… but here is the question for you this morning…
HOW DEEPLY ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR LIFE?
HOW GENUINELY ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR YOUR DAYS?
I am somewhat consumed by the reality that I have already lived a long life… and, I want to be wiser as I age…
Life is so very brief…
Life is so very beautiful…
I want to feel it everyday… I want to see it everyday… I want to live it everyday…
Rest in peace Jake…
I don’t want to fly past the announcement of your passing simply because distance reduced our communication to the occassional email. I don’t want to ignore the sadness that those closest to you must be feeling.
I am so very sorry you are gone…
I will miss you my good man and am so fortunate to have known you…
I will learn from you and I will grow…
Life is so very short… and you lived it so very well…
in harmony,
Nestor