Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending the “Celebration of Life” of a man named Shirl.
He was the father of one of my best friends, and one of the kindest & very best souls I know, Jordan Grable.
The celebration was on a beautiful farm, now a brewery, with gorgeous, huge trees, open hillsides, cattle, horses, fences, barns… and people… It was full of wonderful people playing, laughing, crying, sharing… enjoying a moment together in friendship and in reflection of the man named Shirl.
It was a beautiful celebration indeed.
At one point, we found ourselves lost in conversation with friends on a table inside one of the barns. When we came out, the hundreds of people were gathered in a beautiful space under the shade of the great trees, sharing some stories about Shirl.
That was the moment I should have engaged… and the moment I will regret. Exactly the same as the moment when the priest at my father’s funeral called me up, and I failed to to seize the opportunity… My buddy Jordan looked at me gently inviting me to speak, if I wanted to… and my feet didn’t move.
I don’t regret often in my life - but I will regret not stepping up and sharing my thoughts on Shirl. I am so very sincerely disappointed in myself for missing that moment.
I start thinking in my mind - “It’s not about you, let the moment exist without your ego,” and then I realize that if everyone thought that way, there would be no moment. “Can I say something worthy of this moment… can I meet the expectations that folks may have for this moment?” I am embarrassed to write this, self-doubt is weakness in my mind, and it robbed me of sharing my love, my respect for a very special soul… exactly when I should have.
I vow to myself never to pause again if that type of moment ever arises again… in that moment I should step up and close my eyes, and simply speak from my heart to the beautiful person that has passed… and simply allow love to flow… and consider nothing else.
Nobody cares whether I spoke or not… except for me… because in my heart of heart I wanted to… because it was not about me being worthy of that moment… but about Shirl being worthy of that moment… and of all of that love.. and he most certainly was!
Had I had the presence of mind and courage to step up yesterday, here is what I would have said… thank you for giving me the chance to share it with you…
What a perfect night…
What a beautiful celebration…
What an amazing life and an unforgettable soul…
Shirl Grable is here today, and will be with us always… because all of us loved him… and he will live on in our hearts and in our joy!
All of us here are blessed with having the friendship of the Grable family in our lives. Thank you to all of the Grables for a beautiful night and a wonderful celebration for Shirl. He would have been so thrilled - humbled and touched, by the day...
Shirl was a dear friend and one of my heroes…The day I heard during bootcamp that they had found a tumor in his brain , I did my sprints and workout with tears in my eyes. He was a special man and my heart hurt thinking about the possible consequences.
Your father, grandfather, friend, Shirl, accomplished in his life the things I most admire and respect. He created a business from nothing... he provided opportunities for many people, as was made clear by his employee that spoke at the funeral home. He changed and touched the lives of many generously and lovingly. And, he provided for himself and his family in a very gracious and generous way. Creating a business - being a true entrepreneur is one of the things I admire most and one of the greatest accomplishments a man can have…
And, he built a truly beautiful family, and leaves behind his three amazing children, loving people, their spouses and so many very special grandchildren and young adults... When you look around at the Grable family - it is truly loved and admired by so many... and your father brought it all to life.
I think about the lunches that we enjoyed together - and I was always amazed by how humble he was... how thoughtful he was... He was always trying to figure out the next step and how to navigate the next chapter and help his family along the way. He had a long and successful career and he was so excited and proud to see his sons take the helm and ultimately spawn the business into two businesses.
He had accomplished everything - and he remained curious and intrigued by life… and made me feel so very special for the life I was trying to navigate myself.
And then I think about my 50th birthday in Peru… I invited him to join in the celebration, and I was so very glad he went. It was truly a magical week and, it was made more special by having Shirl as a part of it. He was so very alive and present at every event and activity. I will remember his smiling face everywhere we went.
On our last night in Cuzco, one of the most beautiful places on earth... I was exhausted. We had dinner with some friends, and we were heading home. We decided to stop briefly at a bar. And, just as we were ready to leave, in comes Shirl, with his white flowing curls, wearing his plaid jacket and his Peruvian sombrero. He was so full of energy and smiling ear to ear. He was an explorer in the middle of our adventure, and we had just reconnected with our tribe. It was a perfect moment on a magical night, and a wonderful ending to an unforgettable trip. His unique energy lit us all up.
Shirl lived life to the fullest... and I am sad that I didn't tell him how much he meant to me, and how much I respected him, before… He leaves a beautiful mark in all of our lives...
Shirl’s memory will live on forever, and I will never again visit Peru, and certainly not Cuzco and not smile remembering our trip there together.
We are lucky to have had this very special man as a husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather, mentor or friend. And, we are so very fortunate to be part of the Grable extended family.
We share the sadness and the joy of this beautiful soul on this perfect night.
Cheers and thank you to the Grable family... and to the handsome gentleman in the plaid jacket and the youthful smile... to the entrepreneur, the family man, the adventurer, the sports man, the thinker...
I am better for having known you and I will miss you…
Cheers to my friend Shirl!
in harmony,
Nestor