If you don’t know Joe Mechlinski, you should.
He will make you smile from the inside out as he reminds you without saying a word that good people still outnumber the others by a landslide – that you are strong and talented –
And that you have so very much to offer the world!
Joe founded a company called Shift – which is multiple inspired organizations and businesses simply “shifting” the world in a positive direction.
He is also an author of multiple books, a devoted husband and father, and a life-long learner who lives his life without regret and by example.
Suffice to say, he’s one of my heroes, and I am grateful to also call him a dear friend.
I’ve known Joe for years and one of the things that connected us was his troubled past. His story is entertaining & inspiring, and I’ve heard pieces of it for years, and read it cover to cover. His father wasn’t around when he was young. His mother died very young, when he was still a teenager. He grew up in the inner city of Baltimore with very little food in the fridge.
Joe’s past and his journey is a significant part of his brand and his persona. I didn’t realize just how much, until I went to an event this past Fall called Shift U, where he gave the first talk…
He commands the stage and engages the crowd – and me and 200 of my newest SHIFT friends listened intently…
I was listening to his words and taking them in – but something didn’t fit.
I listened as he shared the beautiful and detailed story of his life. The amazing relationship he had with his father and how it had grown and blossomed through the years. The wonderful gifts he had received from him mother – the passion, the curiosity. He spoke of his years growing up and painted a beautiful picture of a nearly perfect life… ending it with a heartfelt thank you to his wife, who was in the audience.
I sat there inspired and confused.
This was the same story I had heard before…
Kind of…
It was the story of his youth but told not from a point of all that he had to overcome – but rather from a point of all the amazing support and love he had received that had nurtured him and escorted him.
It was the story of his youth told without ego and with endless gratitude.
I was amazed at how physically different the story felt as I listened…
And, how very true this version also sounded.
It is amazing how different the truth can feel & sound – when it comes from a different perspective.
What if…
What if all of those stories I tell myself are only half of the truth? What if those stories that I tell the world, and choose to remember are born of ego and a lack of gratitude?
Like Joe – I define myself and my brand by having overcome hardships… I take pride in it. And, pride is most often ego.
What if, as I realized late in life, my father wasn’t the villain in my story, but my muse?
I’ve never taken pride in surviving my sisters, but I have taken pride in the emotional maturity I gained from it. And, pride is most often ego.
What if my recollection wasn’t that “I was pulled from my family and the world I knew abruptly at the age of 7. I remember crying hysterically at the airport feeling like my heart was being ripped from my chest. Then, I remember sitting lonely with my sisters in some strange house looking out the basement window at a cold, grey day with more rain than I had ever known was possible.”
But rather that,” My parents loved their children so much that they had the courage to leave everything they knew, to bring us to the possibility of a better life. I remember how much love I felt growing up, and how much love I felt the day everyone came to wish us well on our journey. When we arrived in this strange new world, friends took us into their home and helped us get settled. I remember sitting with my sisters looking out of the basement window wondering ‘How will my life turn out?”
As I think about the way I remember my past, I am embarrassed by the amount of ego that I allow to tell the story. I am embarrassed by the amount of credit that I give myself for having navigated myself forward…
Sure – I contributed in some ways to my journey… even in meaningful ways. But, my contribution has been so very minimal compared to those of others – and of the universe.
There is a different truth to my life that I owe more consideration.
My parents were strong & courageous people.
My whole life I have been blessed with a loving extended family and absolutely amazing friends that filled any and every void in my life.
I met a loyal, intelligent and beautiful woman that agreed to join me on this lifelong journey, and with whom we’ve been blessed with three uniquely different, intelligent & thoughtful sons.
The universe… “God”… whatever you choose to call it, has saved me on many occasions… to make today possible.
My friends and family have grown… and I assure you that I am no longer and was never an “only child” because my sisters never left my heart, and I have some absolutely amazing brothers & sisters that life has given me… And, I am lucky to be able to love them all.
The longer I live, the smaller I become.
The longer I live, the less I compare my home to mansions, and the more grateful I am not to be homeless.
The longer I live, the less I crave a second home, and the more grateful I am to be alive and healthy and have the opportunity to travel and see the world.
The longer I live, the less unique I think I am and the more I see how we are all so very similar.
The longer I live, the less I worry about what others think and the more I care about how it feels.
The longer I live, the less I value what I have and the more I want to invest in what I am.
The longer I live, the less I take for granted every moment and the more grateful I feel for every new blessing.
What if…
What if I’ve had nothing to do with the life I am living?
What if it is all a gift from the universe… my objectivity, my persistence, my ability to learn, my parents, sisters, brothers, children, spouse…
Our world, the sun, our galaxy…
I do believe as human beings we have some volition, some consciousness, choices about what we choose to learn, how we choose to react, how we choose to grow & respond to the events of our lives… and those choices have consequences which create every unique journey.
And at the same time – I think about the fact that - I choose what I choose because of who I am… because of how I think… because of what I value… and I have to wonder to what extent I control any of that… I didn’t design my brain or my physiology…
I have taken pride in individualism and objectivism… I have believed for the vast majority of my life that my life is a product of my unique volition – and that I am a self-guided piece on this game board. But, as I get older, I realize that I am not fully “self-guided”, there are some wireless connections into my brain that influence me… Ideas, people, relationships, love, fear, ambition, desire… they are all internal and external forces acting on my volition…
I digress…
It’s hard to rethink your whole life, your whole self, your whole truth while still being in the same mind that accepted and cemented those thoughts in the first place… And, a mind is ever expanding like the universe… And, I’ve been blessed with knowing there is more to the story…
The truth keeps expanding… Do you feel the “shift” happening?
Thank you for reading this– for being there – for caring enough to consider the possibility…
My willingness to consider everything scares some people… it’s unsettling.
Unless you realize that we only exist in the moment – and every moment we can reset the understanding of our “IS” of our “truth” and redefine our “WANT’…
What is your story?
What is your truth as you’ve told it?
As you’ve chosen to accept it?
Is there more to it?
I bet you there is…
In harmony,
Nestor