Today is the last Sunday of 2020.
Sunday nights my mind works overtime. My mind is always active - trying not to rethink, regret or regret anything that has past. evaluating things that I am actively experiencing, and considering the many paths forward. And, Sunday’s my mind isn’t only focused on the day - but it tries to zoom out to evaluate and consider the week - the days past and the days to come.
And, today - it’s not just about today, or about the past week - but my mind is trying to see, digest, consider the entire year we just lived and the year to come. The last Sunday of the year is exponential pensiveness ;-)
It’s not stressful - at least not anymore. It’s exciting.
I think about the theories I have heard that “choices” make happiness harder. We all seek freedom. We seek choices. And, while having choices is exciting - I do think having many great interesting choices makes decision making more challenging. And, ultimately it’s the decisions we make - not the choices we have - that impact our lives and make us happy or not!
Truth is - I can’t process the whole year we just lived and the whole year that is to come. And, it’s not only not possible, but also not necessary.
It’s more about zooming out … and seeing the picture of my life from farther away.
Have you ever walked close to one of the jumbotrons? up close - each pixel is only red, green and blue. Up close - the pixels are like our days - each one tends to be only one of three colors… work day, play day, ? day… but from a distance, those 3 colors create what appears hundreds and hundreds of colors - and images - in motion.
There is only so many ways we can spend our days - that feels fairly similar to the choices others have - and yet over time, from a distance, our lives can be so very differently colored - the images we create and display are so very amazing and unique and hard and beautiful…
I’m rambling… It’s been awhile…
I love the concept of living deliberately - making decisions deliberately about what images and colors we are trying to create over time… Making deliberate decisions about what to do and not do on a micro scale - so that we can then create greater images from a macro scale.
So many categories to think about - self, family, friends, work, curiosity, community, world - and each one of those has various different dimensions. For example - self can be broken at a minimum into physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
I don’t just want to float with the flow of time - spending my energy everyday transacting and checking the basic boxes that more than fill our days if we let them.
Life is so busy if we let it - full of hundreds and hundreds of actions that lead to nothingness. I don’t want to spend the majority of my life transacting the basics simply to get to the next day, week, month or year.
Living deliberately for me - means choosing to transform and evolve… deliberately.
The questions that it starts and ends with for me are:
Why do I exist?
What brings me joy?
They are questions that I still struggle to answer… but the questions themselves are less daunting than they once were…
Today is the last Sunday of 2020!
Everything is about to end - and everything is about to begin again. The opportunity is there to become a better version of ourselves than we’ve ever been. There are so many choices - so many possible paths forward. And, we are better prepared than we’ve ever been. I realize it is an enviable position. I am living out my dreams - and working on creating new ones. I am blessed.
We are blessed.
Why do YOU exist?
What brings YOU joy?
It’s all about to begin again.
How will YOU transform in the year to come?
How ever it is - may it be DELIBERATE!
And,
in HARMONY,
Nestor