One of the best features of Facebook, besides letting me stay aware of what is going on in the lives of many I love and care about… is that it reminds me of where my heart and mind have been by flashing thoughts and pictures of my past, somewhat at random into my present…
(And, trust me, I also know some of the not so great features of Facebook).
Today, it flashed up a post from Sept 2012… 9 Years ago!
“I am motivated and inspired by the simple possibility that my time on earth may assist in adding meaning, purpose and happiness to the lives of those around me…”
The thought is still very much true, but it feels farther away than it used to…
I don’t know if it’s that my boys are older and more independent, and I am clear that my influence in their lives is far less significant and relevant than it once was… Whatever impression I have made on them, while not fully complete, is largely made, for better or worse.
I don’t know if it’s that the world seems so much more divided and so much more “set” in its dividedness - that it feels naive or less possible to try to be a relevant drop in the ocean.
I don’t know if it’s that my own search for purpose and harmony, in these transitional years toward empty nesting, golden-years, second mountains is requiring more of my energy, so that I have less left to share with the world around me.
I don’t know if it’s that I feel redundant. It’s all been said before. I am not adding new thoughts to the conversation of harmony - and I have never wanted to be redundant… though I realize with great clarity that harmony and peace in all forms is not an idea that needs to be understood but rather a mindset that needs to be practiced and improved upon over a lifetime.
I still very much believe in the power of the concept of harmony. I am in awe of its simplicity, and in greater awe of how elusive it seems to embrace fully… for me and for the world around me.
I understand now how “set” human beings become in their conclusions about life, situations, values… It is so important to expose humans when they are young - because once set, our values and beliefs are so very hard to modify and evolve.
I believe one of my greatest assets, and one of my greatest liabilities, is that growing up nothing felt certain, nothing felt absolute. I saw the world from too many different angles to believe that any one of them was the “right” one, or certainly, the “only” one…
I came to believe in capitalism and individualism with great conviction. And, while I still believe capitalism to be the most moral philosophy, it is fraught with imperfections - specially in a world where technology can leverage the human tendencies to eliminate our curiosity to question other perspectives… There are more options than just capitalism, socialism and communism. Our existence is requiring us to find a new and better solution.
I do believe absolute power corrupts absolutely - and politics tends to pursue power at the cost of everything else…
I still believe that our past does not define our future… and, that can be good and bad. Most of my life, I saw that as an advantage, because it meant that I could always improve upon who I was… and improve on whatever reality I was facing at work or wherever…
The danger, however, is that as human beings, we believe that things will always be as they have been. We trust that no short term influencer can change the trajectory of the norms we’ve come to know… but, our reference is small. We limit the context of most of our thoughts to the span of our experience and our lives, but the universe acts with the context of forever… And, the span of our lives is a drop in the ocean.
I read the other day… one light-year is 6 TRILLION miles… Our brains are unable to comprehend such a figure. In ‘human” context, to try to understand that… if we were driving at 60 miles per hour NON-STOP 24 hours per day, you’d have to drive 11 and a half MILLION years to go that far. And, the Milky Way… our galaxy is 104,000 light-years from one end to the other… 104 thousand light-years just to get from one side of our galaxy to the other! I haven’t done the math but essentially it would take us in human context billions of years to drive across it. Oh, and just when you think your mind is blown… It is estimated that the “observable universe” has 200 billion galaxies…
POOOF!
And, then there is me writing about harmony… ;-)
As human beings we are the center of our own universe - and we create so much complexity, so much drama… we define so many absolutes - that are so extremely often artificial, self-serving, and small-minded… We commit ourselves so deeply to over-simplified concepts of man’s existence…
I think it is because we can’t stand being so insignificant.
The only way we can make sense of the world and navigate through it - is by making ourselves the center of our universe and working as hard as we possibly can to create some sense of CERTAINTY in our mind’s structure so that we can feel some sense of control, and ultimately some sense of power over our existence.
The more I understand… the less I know.
I heard a quote the other day that made me smile and caused me pause…
”Understanding is not about knowing, it’s about accepting.”
I am no expert. And, the more I understand, the more I accept… the more insignificant I become… The older I get and the more my dreams of expectations of life come to be real - the more I consider whether I have been aiming at the wrong targets… or at least, whether I have had such tunnel vision that I have missed for so many years the amazing universe that has been revolving around my limited vision.
I am reading a book that I hope to share with you soon that suggests that the things that makes love work are exactly the things that kill eroticism & desire. One seeks certainty and the other exploration. One seeks comfort and the other feeds off the boundaries of discomfort. It always amuses me how much all aspects of life mirror themselves…
Can we find peace through curiosity & the acceptance of uncertainty?
Can we find joy through a broader understanding of human suffering?
Can we ever accept all that we don’t know and understand … or will we forever be committed to the context of what we know?
Can we find harmony amidst the relentless wishing all around us that everyone else could see what we see, believe what we believe?
I refuse to give up.
I can’t put the jeannie back in the bottle.
And, the challenge of influencing harmony, within myself, within those I love & care about - seems far greater and more over-whelming that it once did.
The more I learn… The more I realize that I can always unlearn, but I can never ignore or willfully forget what I’ve come to understand.
I believe in harmony - on a universal and visceral level… And, I believe there is a direct link between visceral and universal.
I see the principles of harmony in the deepest roots of science & philosophy. I see signs of it’s existence and it’s power everywhere…
Harmony moves the ocean - and I realize I am not even a drop of water…
And, the truth of my existence needs to build from there… It is hard to transition that truth into the possibility of influencing those around me…
And yet, it can be done… It happens all the time.
My past does not define my future.
I feel myself floating through the universe… The earth that I stand on isn’t still, much to my mind’s dismay.
Nothing is still in the universe.
Everything is in motion.
We are all a part of it.
At the end of the day - I think maybe the forces at play are not love versus hate, good versus evil, even harmony versus disharmony…
Perhaps… the only force at play when it comes to human beings is the line between
those who believe the universe is vast and greater than all of us… and our mission here is to truly try to support each other… those who are able to embrace and accept our insignificance, and the only purpose for existence is to make our collective brief experience as human beings on earth a little brighter, a little more joyful…
and,
those who believe we are the universe… and our mission here is to optimize our individual existence at whatever cost to those around us, to the earth, to the universe… those who believe they are significant, and the only purpose for existence is to make ourselves happy…
This is not a political statement. Too many politicians across all party lines seek self gratification, power and wealth as a priority… but, NO, not all politicians are the same… and yes, these topics are certainly relevant in the politics of our day…
The universe moves not in the greyness between absolutes… but in the complexity of many absolutes… the vast majority of which lie beyond our grasp of understanding…
Human beings are divided in the infinite spectrum between serving the universe first (with each other and the earth being our most relevant relationship to the universe) and serving ourselves at all costs. But, unlike the rhetoric that drowns us in all media - we don’t all sit on either ends of that spectrum… We are widely spread throughout the spectrum… Acknowledging that is essential to gaining the curiosity to explore the granularity between our poles… to accepting imperfect solutions and leaders…
But there is no end… the means is the end… every step in our evolution and journey matters…
Those who are expecting an “end”, an “arrival” or a “return” to a point in time - are bound by the naivete of our human existence. It is all in motion. Means are the end in itself…
And while to the universe, our means and our end is deeply irrelevant…
To our limited context and brief lifespans, as human beings, the means are our existence…
Wow - that was I ride I didn’t expect to take this morning.
Thank you for sharing it. I’ve missed you.
The more I understand… the less I know…
The less significant I become…
Truth… I’m ok with it…
in harmony,
Nestor