A couple of days ago I went to watch my son’s high school basketball team play an undefeated inner city Baltimore team in the second round of the playoffs.
It was a beautiful old school deep in the heart of Baltimore with an impressive gym. They were home. We were away.
The home crowd was sitting on the left when the our students arrived and unloaded off the bus. The monocolored, spirited fans loaded the stands as the game was about to begin.
When the our team, the visiting team’s starting lineup was introduced, the home crowd sat silently watching.
When the home team’s starting line up was announced, all of our students turned their backs to the court. Everytime a studen’t name was announced… our fans yelled, “SUCKS” at the top of their lungs.
When the Star’s Spangled Banner played, our team yelled the standard “OH” before “Oh Say Can You See”… and at the end “and the home of the EAGLES”… It’s cute when we do that at home. It felt disrespectful when we were guests in a gym and the home crowd was hearing the anthem with particularly solemnness.
When the game started our fans complained at the refs, yelled disparaging remarks at the home team and cheered for our team.
Now – let me be clear about a few things…
FIRST
I am using my son’s high school as an example because that is the game I just went to, but this is a behavior that is extremely common in high schools and colleges and pro teams around the country. There are great kids on the sidelines, and my points are not at all about the character or morality of these kids (they are great kids), but about the behavior that we display, condone and encourage in our communities and in our lives.
SECOND
I get that I am in the MINORITY on this point of view. A very small minority. I have an extremely tough time “hating”. I can’t hate. It is hard for me to even pretend to hate. And, I have a tough time disrespecting… even if it is just an opposing player on an opposing team (high school, college or pro). I just can’t.
So, our team managed to be in the lead after the first quarter and our fans were loud. Normal stuff. Every time the boy that had missed his shot on the other team dibbled the ball on the other team, chants were incessant with “air ball, air ball, air ball.”
The home teams fans were quiet, but I could tell they weren’t taking kindly to our presence and hollering. So, the second quarter started, and the momentum shifted significantly. By halftime, the home team was winning by 10 points.
By midway through the third period, our noble team was down by 28 points.
At that point, I saw a father from the other team, who was clearly bothered, step over to our fans and taunt his team’s name proudly displayed on his sweat shirt at our fans…
A moment later, a 7 year old boy, who had been animatedly watching the game came over and starting dancing, glowing, taunting our fans with a big grin in his face… he wasn’t saying much… but his smirk said it all… “WE GOT YOU NOW… WHO ‘SUCKS’ NOW?”…
I just wish the world wasn’t this way…
DISRESPECT is DISHARMONY
and
DISHARMONY begets DISHARMONY
I am convinced of it, as much as I am convinced that the sun will rise tomorrow.
Why can’t we just cheer for our teams without having to ridicule the opposition?
Why can’t we celebrate this unusual opportunity for our sons to compete and battle with a new set of boys in a historical gym… and embrace the spirit of “may the best man win”.
The home team had some tremendous athletes that were impressive to watch.
I wondered how many hours they had worked to develop the skills to play the game as they did. I don’t know them, but was thrilled for them. They are gifted men.
Our boys have heart and courage and battled to the end. They are a special group of young men and fought gallantly.
I know most people think that their “loyalty” and “team spirit” is a license to disrespect… but why?
Colleges all around the country… These “institutions of higher learning” pride themselves on who can be the rudest and come up with the most offensive chants toward the other team…
I can’t help it…
My heart sinks when I hear it and see it…
I can’t boo the other team… they are no different than my own.
They are young boys or young men fighting for the same thing my boys are fighting for… their parents are liklely sitting by me.
On a one on one level we tend to support each other typically. Few of us would turn our back on an opposing player one on one… and disrespect him or her to their face.
But put on a fan jersey and go in the stands and we decide its find and actually encouraged to be rude and offensive…
I get that no one intends for it to spill over outside the gym… but it does.
I get that no one intends for it to spill over into how we treat others… but some small level, it does.
Occassionally, it becomes extreme, like the fans in San Francisco that paralyzed a visiting fan after the game, and received only a few years in prison for the offense. I get that its extreme, but we start to blur the line from the beginning.
I have been to soccer games in South America where being rude and offensive seems like the main attraction to going.
It’s almost like we make sporting events the place where we can go and hate in public to get it out of our system.
Imagine a world, where we cheer on our team, and celebrate the competition. When the battle is over, we acknowledge the efforts and the dedication of both teams.
We wish the opposing fans well and congratulate them on their effort.
We all tailgate together and celebrate the sport, the competition and the gift that is the ability to experience it…
There is no crime in booing the other team… in turning our backs when they introduce the other team… yelling “sucks” when the line up is announced…
But, WHY do that at all?
Harmony begets HARMONY…
DISHARMONY begets DISHARMONY…
We lost the game by almost 40 points yesterday. It was a heard fought effort…
The game I went to see… I saw two amazing teams with a ton of heart and great athletes… I saw two basketball programs committed to making young boys into men…
I saw two communities with the opportunity to shake hands and celebrate our youth…
I didn’t see anyone who sucked…
But, I saw a young boy… who seemed to love the sport… who started to learn to hate…
disrespect is disharmony...
And, my heart hurt.
Yours in harmony – ALWAYS!
Nestor