Is money a good thing, or a bad thing?
This is a complex topic to try to tackle in a single conversation...
In this age of “Zen” and “Mindfulness” we read so often that money is not important.
Money is not what should motivate us.
Money is not what should define us.
Money is the root of all evil.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
That’s INSANE!
How many of us don’t want to have more money?
I do.
Is money an evil thing in the hands of Bill Gates and his wife?
There are so many wrong ideas published about money, about making money, about wanting money, about corrupt money…
So, in the spirit of Harmony, let’s talk about MONEY… Let’s talk about the absolute truth of harMONEY because I spend a fair amount of time thinking about it.
1. Money is not a bad thing OR a good thing. Money is just a THING!
In the hands of good people with good intentions, money is a good thing.
In the hands of bad people with bad intentions, money is a bad thing.
It isn’t money that makes us good or bad… it’s just a thing.
2. Money is the most “exchangeable” and “tangible” thing … and thus it becomes the “easiest” thing to compare and perhaps the easiest goal to set.
Human nature is to want to know how we are “doing” in terms of our success, and human natures is to compare. (I love the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”). What if we could compare each other by our happiness?
What if we could compare each other by our “peace of mind”?
What if we could compare each other by our “positivity”?
What if we could compare each other by the level of “trust” that we have achieved?
Or by the amount of “respect” and “regard” that we have from our peers or families?
Do you think we would? Of course.
What if we could barter with our own happiness and peace of mind?
What if we could buy things with our happiness?
Would it be wrong to want more happiness?
Would it be wrong to set goals for our level of happiness?
3. Money is a powerful thing!
Because of its ultimate interchangeability for other things, money is amazingly powerful.
It can bring immediate Peace of mind,
Happiness
Trust
Success
Even Love…
(I know you are rolling your eyes but bear with me…)
Think about it… if you take your kids to Disneyworld and have an amazing family vacation, does it not bring happiness?
If you lend money to a friend in need, does it not build their trust in you? When they pay you back, does it not build your trust in them?
If you invest money in a smart way in your company, can it not help you achieve greater success?
If you give money to a parent who has a hungry or sick child… enough money that their child could eat for a year or be healed, could that not inspire love.
But as we know, and often hear, money can also bring
Unhappiness
Distrust
Failure
Even hate…
Money is a POWERFUL Thing!
It is a very tangible way to measure our success. It should never be the ONLY way, it should be one of many, but because it is so easy to measure, it tends to jump out front.
If you are trying to start a company or a non-profit, you need MONEY!
If your company or non-profit doesn’t have enough money it DOESN’T survive!
So, MAKING MONEY IS SURVIVING. MAKING MORE THAN THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF MONEY you need allows you to GROW.
I would argue that there is no other SINGLE predictor of success for a company than the “flow” of money in or out. The fact is, there should not only be a single measure.
Money is a GREAT thing! But, remember, its just a thing.
I have seen money destroy people, relationships, marriages and businesses.
Sometimes because there was too much.
Sometimes because there wasn’t enough.
Money is a DANGEROUS thing! Dangerous because if we are not strong, it pulls in our emotions and makes us do things that we wouldn’t otherwise do. Sometimes it makes us betray our most deeply held values. Not good!
Money is a very dangerous thing… it is probably the most intoxicating and addictive drug in the world, and we all have to use it.
We are imperfect as human beings. We are all desiring of more and better, and money so often becomes a drug of choice.
4. THERE IS NO CORRELATION BETWEEN MONEY AND HAPPINESS
I did a project in India 20 years ago where I went from the poorest of families on the agricultural lands of Sidphur to the multi-million dollar estates of the factory owners in Ahmedabad.
I had black tea sitting on the dirt floor of a wonderful family’s hut. They served the tea on saucers because they didn’t have money for cups. They smiled ear to ear. The whole family sat with us, proud of their foreign visitors. The whole family worked together to produce the seeds they were to sell. They had no running water, no electricity, no TV, no TABLE, no CUPS… and they smiled ear to ear, and they talked and laughed, and they were happy.
I had black tea on the lawns of one of the factory’s owners. I stayed in their guest home. They served the tea in fine British china with a well dressed butler. We ate outside in their expansive lawns. There was little talking. There were no smiles. This was one of their homes.
This story ends tragically, as the wife of the factory owner killed herself weeks after I visited because the factory had lost some money and had lost face with some of its vendors.
I also had black tea with another factory owner who had wall papered his beautiful home with touristic pictures of beaches in the South Pacific. No matter what room we were in their home, we were sitting on the beach in Hawaii. We had a wonderful night. Their whole family sat with us.
Some of the happiest people I know have very little money. Some of the happiest people I know have millions.
My experience is actually that many people I know with a lot of money struggle for happiness. That seems so unreal to me, but it is so very true.
Here is an equation that I have seen…
GRATITUDE begets HAPPINESS with more MONEY begets MORE HAPPINESS
UNGRATEFULNESS begets UNHAPPINESS with more MONEY begets MORE UNHAPPINESS
Said another way…
Happiness + Gratitude + Money = More Happiness
Unhappiness + Ungratefulness + Money = More Unhappiness
If you are math person, like me, you see that Money is not the source of happiness, but CAN BE an amplifier…
Think about it…
Who are the happiest people you know? Who are the most unhappy?
Truth is OFTEN, money is playing a role in both of their lives, and sometimes it is part of the enabler of happiness, and sometimes its part of the enabler of unhappiness.
MONEY is a complex, important and dangerous thing. But, it is JUST a THING!
I will end this with this thought… it is not the WANT for money that brings about “bad affect” of money.
Harmony is about embracing our absolute truth and wanting to make it better.
IF we are grateful for what we have and work and want to get more money to do more… THAT IS CRAZY HEALTHY! Don’t let any Zen peddler to tell you otherwise.
The desire for the THING of money as a means to an end of EXPERIENCE and happiness is LEGITIMATE, TRUE, and HEALTHY.
Where money becomes an “unhealthy” thing is when we are not grateful for what we have, and when we WISH instead of want.
When we WISH we had more money.
When we WISH we didn’t have our money problems.
When we WISH we hadn’t invested in that.
When money drives us to REGRET.
When money drives us to FEAR… (fear of losing what we have made).
When money becomes addictive…
That is where things go wrong. When we create a GAP in our minds between how much money we SHOULD have and how much money we actually have. That is different than wanting for more – that is believe we should have more already. That leads to disharmony.
Be grateful for what you have and want for more.
WISHING you had more – prohibits gratitude.
Believeing you should have more or are entitled to more in the moment – prohibits gratitude and convolutes the want.
When we want MONEY for MONEY’s sake… that is where we are addicted.
Like with any THING…. Any ADDICTIVE thing…
There is a line between where that “thing” gives us positive value and takes value.
That line is where our rationality controls our behavior versus when the “thing” controls our behavior.
The moment that we start to live a different life than the one we want for the pursuit of money…
The moment that we start to act on values that are not our own for the pursuit of money…
The moment that we allow our emotions to be dictated by the excess or lack of money…
We start to slip.
We must know what we value.
We must have goals that are consistent with the best vision of ourselves.
And, they don’t necessarily HAVE to be altruistic.
Selfishness is NOT evil.
The desire to create, to live well, to experience great things… they are the motivator of great thought and great value. There is NO expectation that great value must be given away.
I do think altruism is a higher level of consciousness.
One that I candidly have not fully embraced…
But the pursuit of a great life,
Of great contribution,
Of the best possible version of your self…
That is the great stuff that the world is built on…
And, money has been a part of most of it, virtually every step of the way (with the Ghandhi’s of the world being a few of the amazing outliers).
MONEY is NOT a BAD THING!
MONEY can be an AMAZINGLY GOOD THING!
BUT MONEY IS JUST A THING!
It is a POWERFUL thing and it is an ADDICTIVE thing!
Find your harMONEY…
Don’t shy away from the topic or the conversation.
Money is TOO important a topic NOT to discuss openly with our children, with our colleagues.
Let’s stop making the topic of money TABOO.
Let’s STOP associating money as the source of evil or mindfulness.
Life is about the EXPERIENCE, and in our efforts to EXPERIENCE life to its fullest it requires many THINGS…
Don’t make it the only goal you measure, or strive to…
Continue to figure out ways that you can measure happiness, success, positivity and peace of mind…
They are SO MUCH more important than money…
Achieving those other things can help you obtain more money to do more of it.
Don't pretend it doesnt exist... dont avoid it!
Reach for HARMONY!
Reach for HARMONEY!
Nestor