Did I get your attention? I made myself smile…
We went to the Orioles game this weekend. We had a company outing, and we had 60 – 80 people out and about…
The thought of “Climaxing in public” first came J to me when we were attending lots of weddings, years ago…
Great weddings…
Memorable weddings…
Unforgettable weddings…
All climaxed…
It wasn’t necessarily that they were ‘perfect’, nor was the food necessarily great, nor was the band exceptional…
Sure, all those details mattered… but ultimately, what made a wedding unforgettable… was whether or not it climaxed.
Some weddings just happened… we all went through the motions… the church… the cocktails… the dinner… the dancing… the cake… the garter… the bouquet… the parking lot…
They happened… they were nice… we were always grateful to be included in the celebration… but they were not unforgettable.
Then there were other weddings… where emotions where building throughout… the details worked together, and the majority of the crowd somehow where in “harmony” as the momentum of the event built…
In these weddings, people started getting up out of their chairs as the band started playing before dinner was over… there was a different level of engagement…
Emotions peaked… people laughed… people hugged… you shared moments with strangers united by the simple fact that you were one in the celebration…
And, then there was a moment… almost always on the dance floor… when the music seemed particularly loud, everyone seemed to be smiling at once… people talking and laughing and hugging on the dance floor… everyone seemed to be on their feet… It was a mutual high that everyone felt… lifted by each other’s energy… swept up by the joy of the crowd…
And, I would smile… there it is…
THE CLIMAX…
Sometimes it lasted only for a single song… sometimes it went on for 30 minutes or an hour…
But, you knew when it happened…
UNFORGETTABLE…
I then learned that it was not only in weddings… it happens at Bar Mitzvahs… it happens at holiday company parties… it happens at dinner parties…
It could have happened at the company outing at the baseball game….
Most people don’t realize that
On our own…
In a relationship of two…
In groups…
In organizations…
There is an over-arching harmony that CAN exist…
Many people attend an event and judge it on their own experience… They don’t realize that you can create a higher state… a greater experience…
HARMONY in a group is like a musical composition…
The easiest way for me to explain it – perhaps – is like an orchestra…
When the orchestra is warming up… there are pockets of beauty… pockets of harmony… individuals and individual instruments can enjoy the moment… or play out of tune…
But there is no totality… there is no ONE musical piece that is being achieved… there is no ONE harmony… In total, its just noise.
That is exactly what happens in companies, families or lives in the absence of harmony… its noise… sometimes pleasant… sometimes not… it’s random.
But, when there is conductor…
When there is someone that understands that greater sound can be achieved…
Greater sound can be enjoyed if we work together… if we play together… if we build on each other’s sound… if we create a single work…
That is what ultimately happens deliberately in an organization, a family, or EVEN an event that experiences harmony…
In music, harmony is achieved by listening to the tunes played before –and creating the NEXT note… that builds on the ones before and that takes you in a constructive, enjoyable, and hopefully inspiring direction…
In life, harmony is achieved by embracing and accepting all of the truths seen before… existing now – and creating a NEXT behavior, a next action, a next reality that builds on the ones before and that takes you in a constructive, enjoyable and hopefully inspiring directions…
Harmony is built one note at a time… one moment at a time… in a great piece of music, in a great piece of art, in a great LIFE!
In music, you can hear it… but in life, you can’t hear it, you can’t see it, you can’t touch it… BUT in life, you can feel it…
So, here we are on Saturday on a gorgeous evening… cold beer, lots of smiles… but ultimately 60 – 80 people enjoying themselves… mindful of the fact that it was the company that brought them together… but the experience remained individual…
I saw it unfolding… and I didn’t give it the energy it required to peak…
I could have called the group together…
I should have called the group together…
I could have raised a glass and thanked the people there…
I could have spoken briefly about the amazing team that we have… the tremendous commitment, passion, and dedication that exists in the people that make up our company…
I could have given others a chance to speak…
I could have introduced a fun and memorable cheer…
I could have called out the people that organized the event…
I could have created a COMMON harmony…
A greater harmony…
A memorable moment…
And, I sat back and watched…
It’s not usually my style. I was with my family.
Sometimes, when you try to build on the common and greater harmony – you can come across like you are trying too hard, like you are being magnanamus…
Every event in a given moment has a level of potential harmony…
Every group at a given moment has a level of potential harmony…
Every person at any moment has a level of potential harmony…
One of the things that I look for – is the opportunity for harmony…
And the PACE of harmony…
A wedding is a wonderful place because it has massive potential… the emotions are high… it is a once in a lifetime (typically) kind of day… there is a desire to make it memorable… so you just have to steer the emotion… guide it in a singular direction… and watch it go…
At company events… there is also great potential, but you have to be more subtle in unleashing it…
A few years ago, we had our 25th Anniversary Gala at EMG… It was a black tie event and much effort went into bringing it to life. We spent time considering every aspect of the night… After cocktails… and pictures… I was able to give a little talk and thank the company… I will post pictures of that night… with this blog. The message that I tried to convey was that we were celebrating not 25 years of history, but we were there to celebrate the moment… the achievements, the people, the perseverance… we were here to celebrate the potential for our future… the momentum… the NOW…
Later that evening… the executive team with their spouses in neon hats came onto the dance floor… and, as was appropriate at the time… started our own version of the Gangham Style Dance…
The dance floor erupted… the music played loud…
On the second playing of the song, the entire company joined in… people that hadn’t been dancing, jumped on the dance floor… even the people that weren’t dancing on the dance floor where dancing in their hearts…
At that moment… hundreds of EMG green balloons dropped from the ceiling and we all started stomping them, raising our glasses, high fiving… It was DELIBERATE HARMONY…
It was climaxing in public… the entire nearly 300 people in attendance where swept away into a moment of bliss…
And, the moment lasted…
There had been a lot of build up to that night… attendance was at an all time high… we had overcome the great recession… we had survived… and we were beginning to thrive…
It was great night…
It can happen in a great meeting…
It can happen in our town halls…
Everywhere people exist… harmony exists… and the potential for climaxes exist…
Most people might smirk at the concept of “climaxing in public”… just like they may smirk at the concept of “deliberate harmony in organizations, companies, organizations, family, in our own minds…”
It seems silly…
It seems ridiculous even…
And, yet…
We feel it when its happening…
We just KNOW…
So, here is the TRUTH my friends…
Harmony begets harmony… and life can be a sustained climax…
Sure, we may not be able to sustain it at the high of that brief moment on a dance floor… or walking across that graduation stage… or wherever it may be that you last felt that sense of being swept away into the moment…
That last moment that you felt BIGGER than life… FLOATING above the mundane…
Only you know where you were that last moment when you felt FREE of anxiety… in a place of deep happiness… shared happiness…
A life of harmony is a life
spent mostly on the HIGH of our potential…
spent mindful of our blessings…
spent accepting of our realities…
spent purposeful on our goals…
spent grateful and real…
spent productive and driven…
I have never felt more alive… as I do these days…
I have never felt more grateful…
I have never felt more blessed, more purposeful… nor more humble…
Harmony begets harmony…
And, I know that moments beget moments and that there is struggle and effort and all kinds of good and bad that remain to be seen and lived…
But, I know that it exists… and I know that I can choose it…
And, I know that I can deliberately tap into the harmony that is around me…
And, my company, and my family, and my friends, and my life is better as a result of it…
You can CLIMAX in public if you realize that we are part of something bigger…
That there is a collective existence… that our actions impact everything…
And, that deliberately choosing to be a harmonic force into the world around us
Is the MOST effective way, and I would argue, THE ONLY WAY… to achieve sustained success & happiness…
It requires…
Deliberate Action
Speaking Up
Making Explicit Some of the Underlying Emotions That Exist in the Group
Taking Some Risk
Being Ok With the Smirks of Some
Having The Courage To Show Emotion
Ultimately it requires speaking with the GROUP in mind, not the SELF in mind…
Next time you are at a ball game, at a wedding, at a dinner party… next time you are alone with your friends or your spouse…
Watch for it.. tap into it… and harmonize…
SUSTAIN THE CLIMAX of HAPPINESS in your moments…
You won’t be able to see it
You won’t be able to touch it
You wont be able to hear it…
But you will KNOW when its there…
And, you will smile that knowing smile…
It’s not silly
It’s not ridiculous
It’s the most powerful concept that I have ever known…
Watch for it, Create it, and Enjoy it!
Harmonize in public ;-)
Nestor