I spent the past 3 days talking to several of our employees on the West Coast and it never ceases to amaze me…
If you listen to people, you learn the truth of the situation.
You understand the misunderstandings.
There is nothing that I do that is more valuable than listening.
And, I can’t help but wonder why others can’t seem to hear what people are saying.
So much of the stress and anxiety at works comes from misunderstandings and miscommunication…
INCOMPLETE information.
What you know is often VERY TRUE... but it's only PART of the TRUTH.
We fault our technical field staff for taking too long.
The field staff faults our technical leaders for generic master templates that need significant rework.
We fault our technical field staff for not paying enough attention to detail.
The field staff faults our technical leaders for not giving them enough time to do the appropriate amount of diligence.
We fault our field staff for not caring enough.
The field staff faults our technical leaders for not being responsive.
LISTEN…
So often the people blamed for not caring enough are buying the clients the lunch out of their own pockets because they want the clients to have a great experience.
So often the people blamed for not paying attention to detail are unclear as to the expectations.
So often the people blamed for not being responsive are working 14 hours per day and traveling trying to support other teams.
So often the people blamed for not paying attention simply disagreed based on rational criteria.
WHY IS LISTENING SO DIFFICULT?
Is it because blaming takes less energy?
Is it because we are overwhelmed by our current situation and we subconsciously reject taking on any more responsibility?
Is it because we feel better about ourselves by blaming others?
I fall prey at times to blame… And VIRTUALLY EVERY TIME that I do, and I then dig in, I learn that my assumptions for blame were wrong and misplaced…
Virtually NOBODY given the opportunity of doing things right versus doing things wrong will do them wrong…
But, they need to clearly understand the difference…
LISTEN
People understand HARMONY, even if they call it different things…
Today in talking to a young engineer he said to me…
“When people yell at me, I don’t want to do a good job. They give me BAD energy. I can’t describe it. But it makes me feel bad.” (DISHARMONY: WISHING THAT HE HAD DONE A BETTER JOB)
“Why can’t they just say, ‘I know you are new and you can do a better job if you only..’ That would make me want to work harder and do a good job.” (HARMONY: ACKNOWLEDGE THE “IS” and DEFINE THE WANT)
“When I am with you, I feel good energy. I go home wanting to do a better job.” (HARMONY – I go out of my way to acknowledge his efforts – his IS)
“He could can best describe reality without laying blame will emerge the leader.” Susan Scott
So many people want to lead… but can’t stop blaming the world around them for everything that doesn’t go according to plan.
What world do we create when we put blamers in charge? We amplify the disharmony in companies or organizations when we do that. We give DISHARMONY power and a loudspeaker.
The MOST IMPORTANT quality of a leader is to be able to avoid blame and look for cause… to stop looking for people responsible and look for dynamics responsible.
I am all about accountability – but all of us feel accountable to something different. A “good” job looks different to different people in different situations.
EVERYONE I talk to is holding themselves accountable to something… something SERIOUS and MEANINGFUL.
The question is – are they defining success, are they holding themselves accountable to the right deliverable and result? Typically NOT…
WHY? BECAUSE SUCCESS IS NOT CLEAR…
And, how do you figure out where we are misunderstanding it?
YOU HAVE TO ASK AND LISTEN!!! But BE CAREFUL. Don’t ASK too specifically… ASK the questions that begs to be asked… ASK to uncover, not to prove. ASK to explore, not to corner. ASK to understand, not to incriminate.
I see the truth so much clearer when I listen.
I see the path forward so much clearer when I listen.
I see the hurdles ahead of us so much more clearer when I listen.
LISTEN…
STOP for a second and pretend you don’t know the answer, even if you do.
You know YOUR answer.
And, YOUR answer may or may not be right.
YOUR answer may or may not be understood.
YOUR answer may or may not be COMPLETE.
YOUR answer may or may not be ACHIEVABLE.
But you won’t know… if you are convinced it is right… and you DON’T LISTEN.
I enter conversations ready to be surprised…
I enter conversations ready to go places I didn’t think I would go.
I enter conversations happy to not know where they are going to take me…
I enter conversations willing to be led.
I enter conversations comfortable with not knowing…
BECAUSE then conversations can WOW me… and can ENLIGHTEN ME…
So many people I know enter conversations… looking for ammunition to prove why they were right all along.
They enter conversations waiting for the soundbytes they know they will get that will allow them to MAKE THEIR POINT.
They enter conversations so often convinced that the other party is to blame...
They enter conversations knowing better and more…
They enter conversations certain they are right…
And, they learn nothing… and they hear nothing… and its wasteful and frustrating…
LISTEN…
LISTEN…
The answers are all out there… in the intersection of perspectives… in the compromise of truths… in the misplaced accountability… in the erroneous frustrations…
There is a KEY to the treasure chest…
It’s not YOUR key…
It’s the treasure’s key…
And, you think you own it... and you are out there trying to convince your key WORKS!
The ironic thing is that the treasure is already unlocked…
You just have to BE WILLING TO ASK someone to OPEN IT for YOU!
THE TRUTH…
JUST LISTEN…
Find the treasure in harmony,
Nesto