Brains or balls?
It was nearly a dozen years ago...
I was in Munich with a dear, successful, brilliant friend who owned the company I worked for at the time.
We were on a run through a big park and the discussion was simple...
If you could only have one of the two, which would you choose...
BRAINS
OR
BALLS?
It was a somewhat theoretical discussion, but a passionate one.
He argued brains. He has always been passionate about the ultimate intellect (though he has never lacked balls in his life).
Me... I argued balls... Meaning COURAGE, DECISIVENESS...because it has always been what I have aspired to have...
We went around in circles, both figuratively and physically (as we ran).
Ultimately it's got to be brains he would say. Without our intelligence we can create nothing. He would cite examples of really smart business leaders.
But the person who makes decisions, who has courage to act... His downside is limited... Zero, and his upside is limitless. Without the courage to act, we can achieve nothing. And actions, in and of themselves teach us all that we need to know. Then I would cite examples of not so smart people who had achieved massive success.
As was usual, we would agree to disagree and move onto vodkas ;-)
I don't know what brought about that memory, but I would double down on my position today.
Balls, balls, balls!
Clearly, in life we don't really have to choose. Like all else, life and reality gives us a hybrid. We get some combination of each.
What I came to realize over time is that the level of courage that a certain decision requires for one person is VERY different from the level of courage that the same decision requires of someone else!
WHY?
It's not so much a level of risk tolerance, as a level of confidence.
My buddy who is constantly willing to "bet it all" is certain of his ultimate success. He knows with complete certainty that he will succeed, even if he has to fail first.
Me... I question my ability to succeed all the time. Not just because of occasional self doubt, but because I know that external factors apply and I can't control all of them. So success is partially in my hands, and partially out.
He would argue that we will always figure something out... We will use the things we can control to navigate that which we can't.
LOVE HIM... And his MINDSET.
Plus, for him the failure of not attempting to change the world was a much bigger risk than the risk of losing money.
I am in awe of his integrity and inspired, just by thinking about what propels him.
Intelligent people scare me. They scare me because they are too aware of external factors, or probabilities, of the statistics.
I want to find my courage from my intellect.
I want to understand all the tools out there, all of the theories, all of the possible solution sets so that I will be best equipped to navigate what I can't directly control and make the most of what I can.
And I do believe that makes me a valuable commodity. I believe it makes me a valuable businessman and partner.
But, not nearly as valuable as I could be...
Not nearly as valuable as I could be if I could find a way to find my courage from my passion, not my intellect.
Our passion to make something that is in our minds come to life is the greatest strength. It's a strength that simple intellect can never defeat... Because to be willing to die for something makes you invincible.
Intelligence, I find is often fueled by our fear of failure.
Ironically, I am on my way to ski right now. On the plane as I write. I often say that there was a moment in recent years when my skills skiing surpassed my fear... And in that moment, my entire experience of skiing changed.
Now mind you, I started skiing late in life, I never took a lesson, and I am not, shall we say, gifted in the sports requiring balance and movement.
But, I am one hard headed son of a bitch!
I fell over and over and over again, determined not to give up. That was definitely more balls than brains. I was a 260 pound gravity led, unguided missile coming down the mountain taking some ultra creative and occasionally painful falls...
If I had used my brain, I would have dedicated myself probably more to curling.
But I was pretty passionate about someday coming down the mountain in control... Going where few others go.... Feeling the wind and the speed and the mountain...
And now, perhaps with the skiing style of a linebacker, I make my way down the mountain with a big smile on my face, and a very rare tumble. Life is imperfect remember :-)
skiing down own the mountain with my boys is a joy beyond words...
The truth is I seek and value intelligence, but I aspire to confidence and action.
I KNOW that courage and action are THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY TO LEARN! Nothing teaches us faster and more memorably than experience. Decisions and their consequence allow us to "teach ourselves" and that makes us feel valuable. Failure from decisions teaches us consequence in a way that academics never can.
So... I still say BALLS!...
Courage, courage, courage to follow your dreams to the very end!
It's hard to have real courage until you know what you are willing to die for...
Then you can really pursue your life's dream...
My passion is harmony and how it relates to business and life...
I would die for my family...
I would die for my friends...
I would die for many reasons...
I would die to spread and apply the lessons that I have come to learn from harmony...
And I would live to the fullest and with the most courage for those same reasons...
Maybe it's not so much about Brains of Balls...
Maybe the conversation and debate should have been about fear...
Do I fear failing from a lack of knowledge or failing from a lack of action?
I can never know it all... BUT I can live a life of deliberate action and decision...
I can own my own confidence and destiny...
I will continue to point my skiis down the mountain...
I will continue to gaze at the beauty of the mountain while I tumble and fall...
I will never give up...
Because I know that one day, my skill... My certainty will be just a little more powerful than my fear...
And, at that moment... The whole world will change...
And I will glide in my own way down that mountain...
And I will never regret having tried...
And I will never regret having LIVED!
Yours in testicular harmony ;-)
Nestor