Writing can be a form of therapy, no doubt!
I woke up yesterday early, about 4 am, as I got ready for a long day.
Went to work in the morning and found myself barking a little bit. Travel days can cause me a little stress – wishing I didn’t have to, or perhaps that I could focus on one thing at a time.
I made my way to the airport from Baltimore to Dulles in great time.
I embraced that I needed to make the trip and am even momentarily looking forward to it. I read on the plane. Saw “The Song”, a great movie, that made me think about God, religion and love…
It is wild to take a trip that used to be a momentous event crossing the world, and now make it into an afternoon commute.
I survived the person in front of me from El Salvador to Lima doing an experiment as to how many times they could bang into my knees without having me lose my cool. Talk about wishin’. I almost smashed the back of their seat to give them a little taste back… but I didn’t want to the little harmony I had left ;-)
So, I got to my dad’s apartment at 4:00 am and fell asleep.
At 7 am, my dad comes into my room and says, you should go ahead and sleep more. He looks older and a little more weighed down by the reality of daily life. He didn’t leave. Get more sleep he said, as he went into the first of many stories about his trip to the bank yesterday, or his need to go back to the grocery store twice in one day.
He talked non-stop this morning. He started cutting his banana at 7:45 am. He has a very deliberate way that he cuts his banana for breakfast.
Cut off both ends.
Slice the peel down the middle with a sharp knife.
Unwrap the banana from its constraining skin,
And then slice it up evenly,
Consuming each circular slice
Like mana from the heavens.
He is nothing if not a creature of habit. He loves his routine.
So, he talked and talked and talked.
Years ago my blood would have boiled.
I am here to see my mother too! The voice inside my head is yelling. Let’s get this party started!
On the third time through one of his commuting stories, I can’t help myself!
PAPA VAMONOS!!!!! I say in a loud but gentle voice.
I realize now as he gets older and I get more reasonable, that we just live our lives at a completely different pace. My dad takes 40 minutes to shave in the morning, and I shave on the walk between the shower and the sink.
He is a lovely man.
He is gracious and happy to see me.
He has no idea what I really like and who I am. That’s been our problem all along. But, we are both working on it.
I am here this trip, not just for my mom, but just as much if not more for him.
He is happy to see me, and I am happy to see him.
We have gotten much better at finding a way that he steps up to my pace, and I step over to his.
As I get older, I sometimes question my desire to sprint… to try to get the most that I can out of the day…
I think to myself – it’s not my pace that is off, but rather that nagging sense that I am chasing something that I just can’t catch.
I've tried to slice my banana that way, and it really does work well. Maybe I can learn something from him, and just execute my life at a different pace.
So, I am here – for him. I will stay in touch with my boys and my wife. I will keep the critical things going on at work. And, I will do my best to BE here, for him, as best as I can…
And, writing somehow makes me more able to handle the pace.
He has been eating his banana for 45 minutes, perhaps an hour.
I am starting to get a craving for a plantain myself ;-)
LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!
Stay in harmony ;-)
Nestor