I remember telling my mother when I was a teenager,
MAKE A DECISION... JUST MAKE ONE.
One of the things that bothered me about my parents was that they didn't seem to like to make decisions... and eventually decisions were made for them...
I say that, and I realize they made a HUGE decision to move to the United States. That was a HUGE one! They mustered the energy to leave everyone they knew behind, and to move to a new land, learn a new language... to give their daughters a new hope at life.
But, for some reason, after that one... decisions became tougher...
Life is an on-going process of making decisions. We make them deliberately. We make them by default. Or, they are made for us by circumstances. Even choosing not to decide is in some ways making a decision.
Our POWER of choice is our most influencial and impactful power... and sometimes, its hard to access. Our behavior and our habits are hard to break...
This is perhaps a silly example... but I don't think so.
Even small decisions, when we hesitate to make them cause us disharmony.
When we don't decide on something that needs to be decided on, it makes us wish we did. It makes us wish we knew the right answer. It makes us wish we knew how things will turn out... It takes us away from the moment and it just creates ickiness...
So last week, a very dear friend was going to Las Vegas. He asked me to join him. It was his brother's 20th anniversary of his Bachelor Party... (You don't need a huge reason to go party in Vegas).
I was going to be in Phoenix on business, so I thought... I will just jump out to Vegas and go party with my bud. It will be a unique opportunity to see him, and to enjoy a little nightlife. I was really looking forward to it.
Then, as I was leaving for Phoenix early in the week, the news started to break that a snow-storm was coming... And, it was coming on Friday.
DECISION TIME...
My plan was to fly to Vegas on Thursday, party with my bud, and get back on my original flight on Friday. Simple. No additional time away from home. Good time with dear friend. All boxes checked.
OR....
Would I fly home directly and early to make sure I beat the storm and made it home to be with my wife and boys to hunker down?
Truth is... I knew what I would do...
It is not in my nature to go party in Vegas when my family is getting pounded with snow.
I get that "nothing is going to happen"... and my boys are now old enough to shovel their own quota...
But, its just not me to go party in Vegas and leave my family in a big blizzard.
And, yet... I stayed 'undecided"...
"What are you going to do?" my wife asked, my colleagues asked, my friend asked...
"Still weighing my options"... "I will wait and see"...
I didn't want to give in on the fun... I didn't want to say goodbye to this great opportunity to see my bud... and yet, I knew I couldn't leave my family in the snow.
But, I stayed undecided.
And, it weighed on me.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Finally, late Wednesday, I went in and changed my flight.
On Thursday, my buddy texted me, and I realized I had not told him yet, that I would be missing him in Vegas and taking the red-eye back home.
I knew the moment the issue presented itself what my decision needed to be.
I knew what my decision would be.
And, I purposefully did not want to decide, and all week I felt the weight and the disharmony of indecision... the desire to wish to be in two places at once... and knowing that is not possible.
The moment I decided, things got easier.
I made my flight.
I told my family.
There was no more wishing... I had made the decision.
The wishing went away. There was no longer two places to be at once.. now there was one.
I smiled at my own silliness.
It's just one night in Vegas.
And, I'm OLD... "partying" is a very different verb than it once was. I just dont need to get silly... or stay out late to make for a memorable night. Truth is, I just wanted to spend time with my bud. I love him and I miss him.
And, the moment I decided - I breathed deep and was done.
There are many decisions going on in my mind at all times.
And, I learn the lesson over and over again.
DECIDE... JUST DECIDE...
And, then if you realize you made the wrong decision, or better yet, if you simply realize you want to make a different decision, GO FOR IT.
But, living with indecision causes angst, anxiety and disharmony.
I seemed to understand the theory early on... years ago.
I think to myself the same words, I told my mother...
DECIDE... LIVE and make progress by making decisions....
When you sit and hypothesize all that will happen if you make this decision or that... you are pontificating and making up different scenarios... that are not real.
When you make a decision - you immediately feel that decision - and know if it feels right or not... and then if needed, you can decide differently.
We have tremendous power...
The greatest of which is the power of choice...
And, so often we under use, under leverage and under value that very awesome power.
ACT...
DECIDE...
Keep making decisions - and own them... and make new ones...
Keep making decisions, so that you can keep making progress...
Unleash your power of choice...
And, at every opportunity...
CHOOSE harmony!
Nestor