I have always wanted to be... THAT guy!
You know...
THAT guy that had the nice sneakers in school. The ones with the real Nike "swoosh".
THAT guy that had the house instead of the apartment... the house with the basketball hoop on the driveway.
THAT guy that had the parents that got along, that went out to dinner, that took family trips...
THAT guy who always fits in... The one who always seems to own the place...
THAT guy whose dad would talk to him with respect and consideration...
You know...
THAT guy that was strong and athletic... the one that made the team without having to be the "manager"...
THAT guy who went to the great school... and got a great job!
I wanted to be,
THAT guy that ran a company...
THAT guy that people depended on and looked up to...
I dreamt of being
THAT guy that could see what people were thinking and could inject wisdom with thoughtfulness and humility.
THAT guy that could share great quotes from memory... and was wise beyond his years...
THAT guy that people talked about after they met him - about how he had impacted their life in some important way...
THAT guy who put his family first... and was always loyal and there for his friends...
THAT guy who innovated, created strategy, developed culture, grew companies, juggled lots of important things with a smile on his face...
THAT guy who makes you think, who inspires you to reach higher and smile bigger...
THAT guy that drove the nice car and had the nice house...
Yet, THAT guy who knew the nice car and house... only mattered for the experiences they created inside.
THAT guy that believed in tomorrow... believed in himself above all else...
Yet, THAT guy who had faith and was "connected" to the energy in the world beyond himself...
I envied
THAT guy who had a great relationship with his kids and his spouse...
THAT guy who dreamt big and executed even bigger...
My whole life I have been so eager to be
THAT guy that was comfortable in his own skin...
THAT guy who lived life on his own terms - spiritually, professionally, physically....
THAT guy who DIDN'T WISH to be anyone else... anyone other than WHO HE WAS!
As my life has transpired, I have slowly become "THAT" guy in many ways, and I have come to realize that those "things" THAT guy had, while sometimes comforting, never bring total or meaningful satisfaction...
I realize that, "THAT" guy is always still out there... ONE that is sharper, smarter, fitter, more intelligent, more together, more organized, more disciplined...
I am trying hard to no longer chase "THAT" guy...
but rather to
LOVE
THIS guy...
THIS imperfect, kind-a-pudgy, bald as a cue ball, slightly-more-controlling-than-advertised, over-thinking, often disorganized, impulsive, often-exhausted, never-satisfied guy...
THIS guy who seems to go on and on about harmony, while so often unable to live it.
THIS guy who isn't afraid to say what he feels...
THIS guy who makes mistakes over and over again and seems so slow at breaking bad habits...
THIS guy who works hard at being grateful and present and worthy...
THIS guy who is so very tired of chasing THAT guy...
THIS guy who is starting to realize that "THAT guy" doesn't exist... but rather is a collection of all of the WANTS and WISHES that define the characteristics of a man I would craft from scratch, if I could...
THIS guy who is so eager to reinvent himself, that he so often overlooks how far he's come...
THIS guy who is truly so very loved and appreciated by so many wonderful people that I deeply respect...
THIS guy who is so very blessed and lucky and stubborn and who never-ever gives up...
THIS guy... that I have always been... constantly chasing...
THIS guy -
in harmony,
Nestor