Hey there...
You know that commercial from decades ago for "The Clapper"...
"I've fallen and I can't GET UP!".
I keep thinking I am living my life in that commercial over and over again, and my line is,
"I'm sprinting and I can't CATCH UP!"
I've been listening to a great podcast that my wife made me aware of called, "Masters in Business". There is some GREAT content out there... SO MUCH of it... but some of the content is SO MUCH better than others. Most of the interviews are fantastic. CHECK IT OUT...
But, the ABSOLUTE BEST ONE that I have heard so far is, "Annie Duke's".
I had no idea who Annie Duke was before hearing her - but LOVE HER! She studied psychology, not the "what did your parents do to make you who you are?"-kind, but the "why do we think as we think"-kind.
She, after graduate school, became a professional poker player and recently wrote a book... her book is called "Thinking in Bets". I can't wait to read it.
Listen to me... DOWNLOAD THIS PODCAST AND LISTEN TO IT! She is brilliant and speaks to how we make decisions, how we view decisions, and why we are SO bad at both of those ;-)
She talks about cognitive bias...
She talks about living in a way of wanting to get "smarter" instead of looking for "wrong" or "right"... and ALL of the ways that shapes the outlook of our lives.
It is absolutely one of THE MOST POWERFUL 90 minute podcasts that I have EVER heard.
I have been wanting to write about some of the key concepts she hits, but have just been slammed by life... Some of the ideas she shares we have explored in other conversations.
I will write about some of her thoughts later this week... but didn't want to make you wait ;-)
Listen to her podcast and think about the concepts of harmony... it is all so interwoven.
I don't have time to dress it up - so let me share my notes from PART of the podcast. I kept it all in quotes even though most of it is paraphrased, or my interpretation of her thoughts. I want to give her all the credit...
"We invest so much time and energy creating our models... the models in our minds that help us understand, interpret and navigate our lives.
Instead of altering our believes to fit new information, we do the opposite we alter our interpretation of that information to fit our believes. Cognitive Dissonance…
We want to have a positive narrative of our lives… we can recognize the most accurate representation we have of the objective truth, in other words the more we are willing to change our believes as we have more information the better off we will be. (THE MORE ACCURATE OUR IS... THE GREATER THE POSSIBILITY TO ACHIEVE OUR WANT... THE GREATER THE HARMONY IN OUR LIVES!
In the moment, being "wrong" feels bad… every time we are "wrong" it hits our positive self narrative. So, in the moment, we swat it away to avoid feeling wrong
We discount that moment / that lesson, discredit it…
We make excuses, "not a big enough sample size"... We find a reason not to believe it.
When we see things that agree with us, we hold no critical eye. We accept it as truth. WE DON'T SEE THE IS as it IS... We see the IS of our LIVES as we WANT TO SEE IT!
When we update our own believes – we downgrade our sense of perfection… but we make it more accurate. (IT BEING - THE TRUTH OF THE MOMENT)
We need to drive so that our identity is not defined by the idea of being “right” but by the idea of being “accurate”… THIS IS HUGE...
Building the most accurate model of the world, (CREATING THE MOST ACCURATE "IS") requires you view your believes as “in progress”… and then you aren’t right or wrong.. you are simply improving your belief as you go… its in progress… your ideas are provisional until a new version is updated.
The person who is going to win, is the person who has the best model of the world. (THE PERSON WHO WILL ACHIEVE THE GREATEST HARMONY IS THE ONE THAT CAN MOST ACCURATELY DEFINE AND EMBRACE THE "IS" OF THEIR MOMENT)
If you want to be better at any probabilistic exercise… you have to be wiling to say "I don’t know" or "I am uncertain…"
Why its so important… top of the list… more accurate representation of your beliefs and predictions
Predictions even if everything is known are still uncertain… i.e. a fair coin… you can define the long term as 50/50 but not the next try…
Believes are uncertain as well… what did you believe when you were younger.. that is no longer the case…
Saying I am not sure is just a better representation of the world, its more accurate as to what is real…
We cant control luck…
What we can do though is get more information… we have to be open-minded to new information..
Once you start acknowledging uncertainty it makes us information hungry… it makes me want to go find better answers more data…. (IT MAKES ME ABLE TO IMPROVE MY UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT "IS"... WHEN WE LEAD WITH ANSWERS WE DON'T IMPROVE OUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR IS...
When I acknowledge my own uncertainty when I speak, it gets you to open up… (THIS IS HUGE AND GAME CHANGING... IT MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO ENGAGE WITH THE IS OF ANOTHER... IT BUILDS TRUST and ALIGNMENT LIKE NOTHING ELSE!)
When you speak with certainty – you shut people down who disagree with you… (HUGE!!!!!! It makes people WISH they weren't in the conversation with you - because they realize there is no VALUE in a conversation with you!)
When you speak with uncertainty – it opens people up to share more information and to engage you in the conversation… (YES!!!!!!!!!!! Think Parenting or Coaching!!!!!... the MOMENT you start telling people what is RIGHT... what they SHOULD DO... the whole conversation CHANGES... I SEE PEOPLE SHUT DOWN COMPLETELY WHEN WE GO FROM UNCERTAINTY TO CERTAINTY... WE ALL WANT TO ACHIEVE OUR OWN WANT... AND UNDERSTAND OUR OWN IS... WE VISCERALLY DONT WANT TO OUTSOURCE THAT!
We then enter a discussion where we both learn from the conversation… (AMEN!!!! POSSIBLE WHEN WE BOTH ACKNOWLEDGE THAT NEITHER OF US OWNS TRUTH... but ONLY OUR BEST & IMPERFECT & INCOMPLETE INTERPRETATION OF IT )
Acknowledging uncertainty opens the door wide open to conversation…"
SO MUCH GREAT CONTENT out there... BUT NOT ALL CONTENT IS CREATED EQUAL...
Annie Duke folks...
Trust me...
Download her...
Happy Monday! It's a brand new day. Reset your model.
in harmony,
Nestor