I started kayaking this year, and it is a beautiful way to “wake up” and spend the first few hours of sunlight.
There is something so peaceful, so energizing, so inspiring…
One morning a few weeks ago, dolphins appeared and swam alongside me… and we took in the sunrise together…
As I rhythmically stroke the water and propel myself forward my mind drifts…
There are so many lessons about life that those moments alone on the water amplify, clarify, and embed in my soul…
You must believe in yourself…
There is something so exhilirating about launching into the water in a kayak. There is no one else and nothing else (except my boat) to rely on, depend on, or consider. It is me, the destination (goal) I’ve set, and my own drive and strength and ability to deliver on it. It is so clean - so simple - it’s up to me. And, I find it uniquely motivating and fulfilling… holding myself exclusively accountable…
Being on the water adds both beauty and a powerful force to be respected… When you go for a walk - the ground is predictable and it can’t turn on you. It is not alive… Kayaking feels like a journey on a living beautiful, powerful and moody beast… that sometimes falls asleep and sometimes wakes up so very violent and angry… And, making it home is up to me… my conviction… my strength.
The water somehow - separates me from the land… and in some way also separates me from the thoughts and connection to everyday life… It detaches me… It frees me.
The winds and waves are constantly changing – don’t rely on them…
Often I set my course starting against the current – that way on my way back I can use the current to reduce my effort coming home. Very often, the winds change and I have to fight the waves on my way home as well. I am always ready to paddle hard!
I realize I like paddling into the wind…
There may be something wrong in my brain, but I most often choose the harder path. I don’t know if it’s because I want to test myself – to prove to myself that I can - or, that I like the challenge. Rowing with the flow feels like cheating, even though I know it’s not. I want my life to be in some meaningfull way the result of my own effort. And, I realize that is probably my ego playing too big a role in my narrative. Because, I realize nothing I’ve had help every step of my life even though I like to pretend I haven’t. Ultimately, I realize so very little is a result of my own effort versus a result of my blessings.
But, when I paddle into the wind – the water meets my stroke, it resists and then supports… the wind blows more inspired on my face… and, the splash of the boat against the waves celebrates my progress… It just feels better.
Be careful of more people…
I love people. And, there is something very special about being alone with your thoughts on the water. More people does mean the boat will take on water faster… This may be the simplest and most powerful business metaphor on a kayak ;-). When the boat takes on water it lowers the center of gravity and makes it much easier to tip over (done that).
When there are more people, I am mindful of the experience they are having… mindful of the synergy in our strokes. I like steering. I like being the power. It’s so very hard for me to be led… I do love being out there with company - to share the experience… It’s just a different experience. And, requires a different level of responsibility.
It’s almost impossible for me to be on a kayak and not be paddling…
I notice this about myself, and I am not proud of it. Sometimes, I just want to let myself be taken by the current, and I can’t. I want to put my paddle down and just breath and enjoy the moment. I do on rare occasion – and I don’t let it last long. It’s physically difficult for me to be in a kayak and not be wanting to make progress… I have this sense that it is expected of me – and I realize it is just me expecting it of myself. I feel lazy not paddling. It feels wasteful – and I know its not. I need to learn how to be in the kayak and not row…
Perhaps, it is, to a small extent, because I always have a set amount of time that I am going to be on the water, because life awaits on land. People expect things of me on land – I have responsibilities. But, why do I feel like I have to go as far as I plan for those couple of hour trips. Why do the goals need to be so far away… why can’t simply being on the water BE the destination?
I need to learn how to float and breath and lose that need to always be paddling.
Destinations that seem unreachable… aren’t. Keep paddling.
You move slow through the water, powered only by your own breath, your own strength, your own stroke. I look out into the horizon into the destination that I have set, and it feels most often unachievable. “At this pace, it’s going to take me forever to reach that turn…” I always seem to have some version of that thought. And, the situation presents me with two options… keep paddling or give up and turn around.
So, I sit up straighter, stay mindful of my stroke (realizing that I can’t sprint to the finish – when the finish is so very far away), take a deep breath and focus on the next stroke, the next 10 strokes, the next 100 strokes… and at some point, I look up again and realize the destination is still far away… but not as far away as it was. And, I have to decide again… and, I keep paddling…
And when I finally make it home… I slowly step of my vessel with a very pure gratitude and pride… I MADE IT!
I step in the water and feel the water bathe my skin… I float and feel the sun… and wish on some level that the moment would last forever… The water pulls me, calls to me, settles me, comforts me… Nothing else feels quite like home in such a visceral sense. It engages all of my senses and somehow all of my soul.
I realize, in writing this, that the whole experience of kayaking, of waking up on the water, makes me feel such a UNIQUE, PURE and DEEP GRATITUDE… for my strength, for being alive, for the earth…
There is a beauty – a peacefulness to being out on the water…
It demands nothing else but my presence,
It is both a beautiful experience, a beautiful moment, and an end in itself…
Much like life ;-)
What’s your favorite way to wake up?
In harmony,
Nestor