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My Tia Ileana is dying…
You would have loved her…
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It used to bother me so - that death could come and go,
and so many would go about their days -
as if all was ok.
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I must write about that soon.
I feel like death, or emminent death must be a higher priority.
It needs to take us off of our grooved habits and overscheduled lives,
To acknowledge the significance of a loved being… quickly disappearing.
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Some cultures & religions have traditions for a certain period of mourning,
That feels right and appropriate.
Acknowledge death and make time for the absoluteness and meaning of it to leave an impression.
At a minimum, make time to feel the love & remember the life that is fading away.
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I will write about my Tia Ileana tomorrow.
She was a warrior for Harmony, before I ever understood Harmony.
She was very possibly the most reassuring, reliable & loving figure in my life.
I don’t believe I trusted any adult as much as I trusted her.
Because she was always rational, she was always objective - and
she was always also gracious, respectful and loving.
She was my absolute truth.
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I owe it to her.
I owe it to me.
To make time in my mind and heart and life…
To acknowledge her … in these moments and days as she fades.
Not because she is dying…
But because of how good she was at living.
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Life deserves pause.
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It breaks my heart.
I feel guilty sitting in the United States
knowing she is lying in her final days in Peru.
And, flying home doesn’t feel like a viable option…
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Physical distance has always been my nemesis.
Emotional closeness has always been my friend.
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I am confused, overly busy, full of joy and gratitude and deeply sad.
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My Tia Ileana is dying…
and I am so beyond grateful for her having lived.
Her life has been a most beautiful gift.
And, I want to hold her hand tight.
And, I want to hold her memory even tighter.
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in harmony,
Nestor