I hope you read this… really read this and consider the thoughts, your thoughts, and the possibilities…
I was in a Virtual Leadership Session this week - and I was cynical - ”going through the motions” would be a good way to put it. I needed to be present, so I was. And, I struggle with corporate America and bridging the capitalistic needs with the real needs of the human soul. I feel the need for connection between those two - and I live everyday intimately in the tensions and the divide between the two.
The morning session didn’t connect with me - and afterwards there was a breakout led by an intelligent and kind soul whom I enjoy working and leading with… and he asked the scripted question…
“What Motivates You?”
I was taking a walk outside and decided to listen first.
“My family” was mentioned alot.
“Winning” was mentioned a few times…
And, as often happens in these sessions it becomes a platform for people to be seen and heard. So many go off script and start telling you their philosophies or ramble on about what makes them special or worthy.
I don’t judge those people any more. I listen to them. I learn from them. I love them.
We are all just figuring it out.
I was torn between not speaking - and trying to add meaning and focus to the answers.
It compels me to provoke thought and emotion…
It eventually got around to me almost 20 minutes into the conversation…
“Being PRODUCTIVE with my time motivates me”
I shared. I tried to keep it brief, but I expanded on the fact that “productive” means delivering value with my time - not spending time on non sense or fighting artificial foes - it means finding time for me, for joy, for altruism, for laughter, for moving the business forward meaningfully and driving conversations forward toward clarity.
I mentioned that to me - it’s not my family that is a motivation, but rather a beneficiary of my motivation.
Setting an example for my family motivates me - but that falls under making productive use of my time.
I think some people heard me.
Part of my objective was to hear myself - and to consider what I was saying…
Was I posturing and trying to be seen as wise?
Maybe on some level - but more that that I was really trying to add value to the discussion. I wanted us to go deeper.
What does it really mean when we say “our family” motivates us. That isn’t clear or actionable to me. Figuring out how to be most productive with my time - that’s closer to the mark for me…
I found myself engaged in the discussion sincerely (while always holding some cynicism). I think more and more that the cynicism is a protection mechanism. IT’s easier to be cynical - than to fully feel the awesome and overwhelming opportunity and responsibility of leadership with integrity. I expect myself to deliver on the promise of being the bridge - the connection - between what we do, how we do it and why we do it. I want to deliver meaning and value to the wonderful and dedicated souls that make our company real… I want to bridge the gaps with their expectations - and deliver on the company’s goals and to fully own that is beyond scary… it overwhelms me. I don’t think I have the intelligence or the courage to deliver on that - but that is my motivation.
I was thinking this morning - What motivates me?
Is it really “being meaningfully productive with my time?” It is - but there’s got to be a higher level…
And, these thoughts come to mind…
I want to know my Truth. I want to know who I really am.
I want to know Love.
I want to know Joy.
Some people call it wanting to know God - or reach Nirvana.
Being productive with my time is a means to an end - not a true motivation.
And, if you’ve been in this conversation for awhile - you probably realize I don’t see the thoughts above as an “end” or “destination” but as a compass that guides me as to whether I am getting closer or farther away never actually expecting to arrive.
Who am I - if the world hadn’t imposed it’s rules, it’s laws, it’s moral codes? I know I am kind. I know I value truth and justice. Who are you?
What is love? I believe it is connectedness, devotion, selflessness, empathy… By knowing it - I want to linger in it - in every moment.
What is joy? A light heart… a full heart… a quiet mind… gratitude, wonder, laughter, peace… PRESENCE
What motivates me?
I want to know TRUTH…
I want to know LOVE…
I want to know JOY…
I want to LIVE in truth…
I want to LIVE in love…
I want to LIVE in joy…
I am not sure corporate America is ready for me ;-)… Not sure that I am… I hope I have the courage…
What motivates you?
in harmony,
Nestor