Susy and I recently moved. We lived in our now “old” home for 18 years, and while, in my opinion, we didn’t have a lot of “stuff” in storage - we had and have a lot of “stuff”.
Stay with me on this one…
My dad loved stuff. He had it everywhere.
Most old”er” people love stuff.
Most people “love” stuff.
My dad had “stuff” on every table, in every closet. My godmother who recently passed had a basement full of “stuff”, much of it unopened or unseen for over 30 years.
I love empty spaces. I love modern, simple design when I see it. I long for it.
And yet, I cried, when we talked about getting rid of the Central Park painting that my dad bought on one of our trips to Ocean City, circa 1980. And, I really don’t even like that painting all that much.
I don’t know that it was so much that I wanted to keep it - as much as it was I wasn’t quite ready to let it go.
Clutter, for me at least, creates disharmony. I don’t want to get rid of the old and get rid of those things that remind me of times gone by and yet I want to live in an environment that is clean and open and simple.
But the more time that passes, the more stuff we acquire… The older we get, the more stuff we tend to find on our tables.
I was thinking the other day - what weighs us down is not just the “stuff” we can see, lift and fill our storage rooms with, but it’s much more importantly the stuff we cannot see - the things we “know”, the things we “believe”, the conclusions we’ve made and the way we have chosen to see the world.
Our minds are like our storage rooms. We keep putting conclusions in - and you just can’t keep doing that through life and not expect a cluttered home… and a cluttered mind.
I started reading and learning in the last decade about the importance of “unlearning” and it has fascinated me. I see more clearly my own, and other people’s inability to learn new things, or to consider new things, because their storage is already full with conclusions they’ve drawn in the past… Hence the beauty and power of a young or youthful mind.
It’s why young people in their 20’s innovate new revolutionary concepts into multi-billion dollar companies, while massive multi-national, multibillion dollar companies are battling to eek out another 5%. Their storage is full to see, to attempt, to commit to truly new ideas.
An uncluttered mind and an empty storage are a thing of beauty. They are lighter, less expensive, more efficient.
Giving away some of our furniture from our trip to China won’t make the memories fade of our trips through the endless multiple-football field sized warehouses stacked 10 feet high with dust covered furniture - trying to find our diamond in the rough and the next best deal.
Or, maybe they will.
They might make the memory a little less crisp - or seem a little farther away.
And, getting rid of that furniture may also allow someone else to find new beauty in it - and allow us to make more room for a new memories. Or, just create more room to be more present in the beauty of the now.
It is fear that keeps us hoarding … fear of forgetting, fear of needing it in the future and not being able to find it, or not having the means to buy it again. Or, maybe it’s simply the fear of acknowledging the passing of time.
You can’t have an uncluttered home without giving away the beautiful stuff you once came across and needed.
You can’t have an uncluttered mind without letting go of some of the countless conclusions you’ve committed to memory.
Letting go, I need to keep reminding myself, doesn’t mean the past matters less. It just means the past is past.
Letting go, I have to keep reminding myself, is fundamental if I want to keep evolving into the future.
Letting go, unlearning - is the only path to finding the next best version of me… of us.
Uncluttering our home and our storage is not only an amazing metaphor to life, but I believe is part of a mindset to staying youthful, current, and alive.
If you believe that better is possible.
If you believe that you are still unwrapping the best version of you…
If you want to feel free and light and keep your sense of wonder…
It is so damn hard and sad in moments.
It is saying goodbye and feeling a sense of self-afflicted loss.
Losing everything in storage to a fire feels easy. Giving it all away feels hard.
There is a grieving process to letting go.
It requires us to commit to the past - truly being the past.
To accept in a slightly more comprehensive way that those who have died are truly gone -
including the younger version of ourselves.
Ironically, letting go of our younger self and all that came with it - makes room for a more youhtful self.
But an uncluttered mind allows for a lighter freer heart…
It creates more room for joy
and presence
and possibility.
My heart is heavy with these words and thoughts.
Central Park and NYC will still be there - and my father will always live in my heart.
And, he is gone. And - the painting is the past.
And the past is past.
Unclutter your mind
grieve the losses
make more room for joy.
Lighten your heart.
Clear your table.
Let your soul dance
free
in an empty room
to the beat
of a new
and beautiful
drum.
in harmony,
Nestor