FULL Tank of Gas...

So, if you are following along...

On Saturday, it started with  a beautiful sunrise in a marina in NYC as I started my journey home.  I did arrive in Baltimore at 9:30 and decided to take a short detour to see my cousin Carmen, whom I have mentioned before, before going home to spend the day with my son.

I spent 2 glorious hours with my cousin.  She suffered a virus that put her in a coma 4 years ago, and despite our worst fears and the doctors comments on what would be her vegetative state life, she is thriving.  I had a 2 hour visit with her watching her play video games, communicating with her... She now has little pictures that she can point to so that she can tell you how she is feeling or what she wants.  She is starting to write and can write the answer to where she lives.  And, when she looked at me, smiling big, she pointed with certainty at the box that read "I am really happy!"

My visit to her was unannounced and her eyes radiated with her smile as she saw me.  She was funny and present, and at the same time of being overwhelmed with emotions as I found myself communicating with my cousin again, I couldn't help but think about how she must feel somewhat trapped in her body unable to speak or move more than her arms.  Be grateful for the IS I told myself - and sighed.

We visited her again last night and her nurse showed me a video of her saying "hola" (hi) with a lot of strain... but she is starting to say words.  Truly unbelievable.

It was good that I had come home for so many reasons - the family certainly, but also I am about to step into a helious week of multiple strategy retreats and kicking off the reorg for the one business I am working on turning around...  Having a little more time at home was awesome.

I was in the cab after seeing my cousin on Sunday - I had ordered my Uber and the gentleman who was driving me had stumbled to find the lobby where to pick me up (despite my proactive call to help him navigate it).  He had passed it twice.  I was slightly irked.

When I got in his van he says to me, " I am sorry, but I am going to have to fill up my tank or I may not make it." 

My eyes rolled... "Do what you need to do... " I said, resigned to the fact that it might happen, and aware of what a little inconvenience it actually was that was causing me energy.

I quickly thought to myself, I will buy his tank of gas.  He seems like a good dude.  Why am I in such a hurry... Life is good!

We made it all the way to my house without stopping for gas, but he was clearly a little stressed at the end.  He asked me where the nearest gas station was and I told him carefully.  "Trust me," I said, "I have done this nail bitting last mile to the gas station many times... you will make it."  He laughed.

I gave him a $50 tip on my $30 Uber ride... "Thank you for the ride.  Let me buy this next tank for you..."

... he held the money in a bit of surprise... 

... he paused and spoke slowly... 

His eyes teared... "Thank you sir," he said.  "Have a blessed day.  This is so gracious of you.  This makes my whole week!"

He was surprised and grateful... sincerely so...

$50 is such a minimal sum at this point... and yet it meant that much to him... and possibly in a small way altered how he would experience his week...

How blessed am I to live the life that I am living... how fortunate and I?

"How could you be so self centered" I thought to myself, "that a stop at the gas tank could cause you grief?"

I am committed to being more present, more gracious, more aware...

I had a wonderful weekend.

The challenges that faced me on Friday still face me now.  My son continues to be constantly on my mind, as is my wife and the whole family.  Work continues to stretch me to my current limits... and a heck of a week awaits.

But, my cousin is making progress.

My son is stable for the moment.

Our friends and family are ever present.

My work remains a professional and personal challenge worth pursuing,

and

my tank is full!

I hope yours is too

as you start your week...

in harmony,

Nestor

The Power and Liability of AND...

I sit here with a hot coffee waiting for my 7 am train to pick me up from NYC to head back home…

It’s been an interesting couple of days.  Thursday I woke up and headed to work to meet with the new North American Sales lead for our company.  I took an Uber because I’d be taking this train ride home.

After I met with our new sales leader, I rode with him to Virginia to do lunch and a presentation with one of our global company’s heads of strategy.  It was a good meeting.  I had meant to leave by 3 pm but left at 3:30 for a very long Uber ride crossing all of DC at rush hour to end up in Annapolis to start our boat ride to NYC.  I got there late, but reasonably so, and as soon as I did we untied the beautiful boat and headed sail up the Chesapeake Bay to Chesapeake City near the Delaware border.

We had dinner and tied up for the night there – and yesterday had a beautiful day navigating our way starting at 5 in the morning down the Delaware Bay, out through the Cape May canal into the big ocean and up the coast to head to NYC.  We arrived in New York at 3 pm into a beautiful afternoon, and saw the Statue of Liberty as so many have before coming into the harbor.  We found the marina, washed the boat and eventually headed to New York for a guy’s night out on the town.  We got back around 1 in the morning, I woke up at 4:30 to help get them off on their way… and started my trek back south.

My friend, whose boat I was on is heading north for 2 week’s vacation with friends and family, I was just along for the ride… too often in my own mind, the story of my life. 😉  My original plan had been to head up north with him to his final destination and enjoy a day at the beach with him and the other friends and head home later on Sunday.

Early in the week, with my son being sick I had thought hard about skipping the trip.

Do I stay home and give the family time (I would have worked Friday), OR do I go on this trip and get home Sunday night.  I had deliberated on this decision for days and days, not wanting to cancel on this trip as I saw it as a great opportunity to evolve this friendship, to enjoy an experience that doesn’t come around daily, and to just have a little chill and relax and be somewhere different doing something different.

Then, taking my own advice, I thought – I can do both.  I can jump off the boat in NYC, be home early on Saturday and enjoy the best 1 day of a 2 day trip…

So, here I am eating my virtual cake and having it too! 

So very often I find that ORs are unnecessary, and not just unnecessary but full of anxiety and compromise.  If I do A, I can’t do B.  I often look for the AB solution, and almost always find it.  It has been a blessing in business and in life…

I THINK…

I take pride in my AND vs OR mentality.  I know it serves us so very often in business, and I believe in life.  And, sometimes I am not so sure.

Stay with me…

My friends who are A or B, don’t seem to rush as often, though most seem to have their share of disharmony in life.  The A or B approach, in general, leaves more collateral damage I find.

But, it is my finding AB approaches that led me to work on Thursday in the first place, I was scheduled to be off, but I wanted to find a way to present to the strategy guy before taking off if possible, and by then working, it led me to inviting the sales lead because I was otherwise not going to have time to meet with him this week…

My AB approach often leads to “sprinting” between activities in order to fit more in.  And, I want to sprint less in my life.  It also has me too often in the moment, being very aware of the “transition”… Not worried mind you, but aware.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to get back to DC… rent a car, uber to the train, take the train from Penn Station or Newark… if I ubered into the city I could also take the bus… 😉

One of the guys asked me yesterday, “will you fly home?” and I thought “HELL NO” which I found amusing because that was really clear but there were lots of options that I was still considering.

It is all working out… my train should be here soon… but do you see how my AB approach – find the AND solutions – fills my life more than if I simply decided, “I am off Thursday – won’t be taking any meetings”, and then either “I will take the trip and enjoy a long weekend of boating” OR “I will stay home and spend time with the family”.  There would be less events to “transition” between… But, that doesn’t feel like me.  If I hadn’t one on the trip, a big part of me would have been “wishing” I could have had that experience, and if I had gone on the trip I would have felt very guilty and “wished” I could have tried to spend time with the family…

I make life so complicated…

AND, the truth is we are, in addition to the family situation, having our annual strategic retreat for my company this week which I am leading and organizing AND I am also in a key point of a reorganization I am working on with the OTHER company that I am managing…  AND I have to get everything done this week because I am trying to get to Peru the following week for the anniversary of my father’s passing and to see my mother which I have to fit into that week because the following week I have to be in meetings in Chicago for a software product we are launching and the following week we have an all hands meeting for the reorganization of this other company…

AND vs OR is one of the most powerful concepts I know in my life... and yet I am intrigued to rethink it...

Are you HEARING me?  Do you see the liability of “AND” in my life?

I smile as I write… maybe you don’t see it (I suspect you do) but I sure do…

My living with AND instead of OR is deeply imbedded in who I am…

AND

Here is the IRONY in this whole conversation…

I am realizing that

My life needs to be LESS about

“and” OR “or”,

And needs to be more about

“and” AND “or”!!!

I have to take my AND thinking ONE step forward, AND INCLUDE “OR” in my mix…

I think, perhaps, our life and our contribution is defined most meaningfully by picking the ORs that matter, and then working the ands into the mix from there... 

Perhaps, I need to be more mindful of the hierarchy of ORs... and look for AND in “solutions” for business and life, and more OR in scheduling or in prioritization...  

In fact, I know there is a powerful truth in there somewhere... 

...

Either I have completely lost my mind at this point,

OR

I have come across a major life insight based on how I am wired… and the power and liability of AND.  There is also great power and liability in OR!

Truly fascinated as I think about this…

AND I consider whether I should squeeze in a short visit to my cousin who is at Johns Hopkins before taking an Uber home… that would get me home at probably 12 instead of 10:30, but I haven’t seen her since the day she arrived…

I know…

I know…

STOP for a moment…

SLOW DOWN…

Sometimes I realize, it’s not that I want more… I want it ALL… when it comes to experiences, friends, being present…

I am more ambitious than I realize…

Ambitious …

OR

ANDbitious 😉

I know…

I know…

STOP for a moment…

I gotta sprint to my train 😉

In harmony,

Sunrise

It is hard for me to write these days - 

too many thoughts conflicting in my mind... 

want to be respectful of my son’s privacy (though he is cool with sharing)... 

work continues to fight for any and all mindshare not otherwise consumed... 

All I can tell you is that I am very much in the moment. 

I am accepting of all aspects of my life - all of the wonderful blessings, and the few but so very meaningful challenges. 

I have my wants... the things I hope to aim for and achieve... and most importantly the feelings I want to feel and the “way” I’d like for things to work out... 

And. I see in so many moments how delicate the line can be between the wanting and the wishing...   

I can want my son to feel better -and I can act on things like

staying close to him as he goes through him (and my wife) as he goes through this...

continuing to be the reminding voice of realistic hope that lots of paths are open,

helping him brainstorm things that we can think about and look forward to... 

being present with doctors and helping him and us decide on steps forward... 

AND,  

I have to do that without wishing he wasn’t going through this in the first place, 

without wishing I could suffer instead of him, 

without wishing I had more control (or even some) of the outcome... 

He is amazing - strong, real, stoic, accepting... 

I see a powerful harmony in him... and I am grateful for his strength... for his maturity.   In awe of him in so many ways...

And, seeing him hurt, as much as I accept it, hurts my heart... 

This will be a most meaningful chapter in our lives that will leave us stronger, wiser and closer...  as a family and as individuals... I am convinced of that.

For now, we are focused on today...  

On doing all that we can to have him feel better...  and juggling and finding ways to enjoy other aspects of life that still go on...

We are fortunate in so many ways... 

The sun is rising... 

Grateful for another beautiful day... 

and for the ability to share my thoughts and days

in harmony, 

Nestor

Pain & Suffering

Dr. Shefali (whom I am following this year, and seeing her “year of manifestation” series) had Danielle LaPorte on as a guest.  Danielle is also a coach of the soul and spirit who wrote “Fire Starter Sessions” years ago.  She is an authentic and inspired free spirit that has made her mission in life - simply to live it authentically and to help others do the same.  I had bought Danielle’s Fire Starter sessions 6 or 7 years ago and while I didn’t get all the way through it - LOVED the message.

Anyway - it was a great interview and reminder of what truly matters. 

Dr. Shefali asked her about “pain and suffering” and I hadn’t thought so much about the difference.  But, I loved her answer. 

The gist of what she said was... 

Pain is the feeling in the moment. 

Suffering is our RELATIONSHIP with pain. 

I thought it was a great and succinct explanation.  Pain is the loss we feel, the sadness we feel, the physical pain we feel... Suffering is our relationship with pain, our PROJECTION of pain forward, or our DWELLING in pains of the past... Suffering is “wishing” the pain didn’t exist... 

She goes on to suggest that we all experience some level of pain and suffering, and that our mission should be awareness of those things, and the ability to be present in pain but not prolong or expand on suffering...  

As human beings too often we amplify pain and suffering by dwelling in it... or we sometimes try to protect ourselves by ignoring or denying pain. 

Pain is a part of life - a part of being alive and present.  It is part of our IS... and very often its presence is not controlled by us...

Suffering is part of life - a part of being alive and present... it is part of our IS, but it’s presence is something we largely if not fully control... 

Suffering comes from “wishing” pain wasn’t there - or from projecting the pain to the past or the future (none of which exist)...  We own suffering... 

We most often think about these terms in PHYSICAL context... and those are obviously very real and clear.   

As I think about this - I think more about EMOTIONAL pain and suffering... which is also very real, but much less clear... emotional pain can’t be seen so it is much less obvious if healing is going on or not, and its much harder to be empathetic to those who are feeling it in their lives... 

We know where our physical pain is very clearly... 

Do you know where your emotional pain is?

Do you ever amplify it into suffering? 

What relationship do you choose to have with pain? 

And, remember your relationship evolves and changes in every moment... 

in harmony, 

Nestor

Why the HELL are they called "SOFT" skills?

Have you ever felt that the world was set up backwards...

I was talking to a colleague early this week about evolving as a leader.

He recently finished his MBA, and said something along the lines of, "I need to focus more on 'soft' skills.  My whole life I have been learning 'hard' skills, but the 'soft' ones are so important.

WHY THE HELL ARE THEY CALLED "SOFT" SKILLS?

Who has ever aspired to get better at the "SOFT" stuff?  And, yet, is there ANYTHING more important than our "SOFT" skills?

Ironically, "Soft" skills are the HARDEST to FIND, the HARDEST to TEACH, and certainly the HARDEST to APPLY, because it requires not just to "KNOW" things but to "BELIEVE" things... it requires you, in many cases, to understand and be aware of your own ego, and to change your behavior.

HAVE YOU EVER read ANY list about "things you need to be successful in business" or "ways to success" BOTH in BUSINESS and IN LIFE that suggested...

"You really need to be GREAT at hard skills"

"In order to be successful you must master linear regressions or advanced calculus."

"To be a successful business person you must be able to recite the GAP rules."

"For a complete life you must really know how to code in C++."

???

Clearly, "hard" skills are extremely important, and necessary.  We desperately need them to make the world go around... But, what I find so very often, is people who want to succeed at management or business or leadership, people who are ambitious and driven... THEY WANT TO LEAD and SUCCEED, and THEY KEEP INVESTING IN HARD SKILLS!

And, to succeed in business and in life, it's the "soft" skills that matter.

Dictionary.com defines "soft skills" as:

1. desirable qualities for certain forms of employment that do not depend on acquired knowledge: theyinclude common sense, the ability to deal with people, and a positive flexible attitude

DESIRABLE qualities that do not depend on acquired knowledge?

That is one of the biggest problems of "SOFT" skills - people disassociate them with knowledge - and to improve them, you must be dedicated to continue to learn about them, to study them, to value them, to speak to them...

Taking them out of the "academic" curriculum in any meaningful way makes them "LESS" important by the "laws" of those setting what is important.

Taking them out of the "acquired knowledge" category makes them something that you are not encouraged nor instructed on how to develop and improve.

The BEAUTIFUL thing about EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, which in my opinion IS the intelligence of SOFT SKILLS is that IT ABSOLUTELY CAN BE DEVELOPED... according to many studies much more so than IQ.  And yet, the whole world is structured around hard skills.

"He/She who can best describe reality without laying blame will emerge the leader." Susan Scott 

One of my favorite quotes of all time... "without laying blame" is all about soft skills and "describing reality" objectively is also almost exclusively at the mercy of soft skills.  You need to be able to gain people's trust, you need to be able to engage people thoughtfully in what they do, you need to be able to ascertain who is laying down facts with less bias, and then you need to be able to communicate back what you heard, and what is going on, in a way that everyone can not only understand, but can also ACCEPT!"  ALL OF THOSE are SOFT SKILLS!

We do ourselves a tremendous disservice by calling "soft skills", "soft"... 

Why aren't they the "HARD" ones?

or...

"premium" skills

"diamond" skills

"ultimate" skills

"skills-you-most-desperately-need" skills?

It actually bothers me and frustrates me for multiple reasons...

1.  We teach everyone to "value", "pursue" and "invest" in hard skills as the path to success... and it's just BAD advice!

2. We create & develop managers who lack the fundamental things we need in order to create and develop the organization and business we want to build.

3. We miss a tremendous opportunity to make lives better - and make the work experience more interesting, productive and joyful, by not giving "soft" skills the right context.

4. We create a "inferiority" complex... a "second-class" skill set by calling them "soft" and often fail to acknowledge or reward those who most deserve it...

But, eventually, it is those people with soft skills that most often sit on top and drive the bus... and we introduce them, so very often by making a laundry list of their hard skills and the institutions they went to learn them...

I am not saying "hard" skills are not important... I am saying the world is backwards... and the "soft" ones are the hardest to get, find and apply...

Imagine a world where we could talk about "soft" skills more openly and clearly as teams, as people, in conversation.  Imagine if we talked about self awareness and ego as much as we talked about margin and utilization?  Imagine if we could call each other out on behavior as easily as we call each other out on missing key metrics?  Imagine a company where we worked as hard on quantifying and measuring and developing and VALUING soft performance as much as we do "hard" performance?  How would our business and our organization and our experience of business be different?

What are you doing personally and professionally to evolve and grow?  How much do you invest in the "soft" stuff? How does your company value, consider and develop "soft" skills?

Why the hell do we call them "soft" skills?  Nobody wants to be "soft", but the vast majority of leaders want the results and the roles that a mastery of "soft" can deliver...

What's in a name?

So very often... 

a mindset.

Let's change it!

in harmony,

Nestor

Silver Linings

We made it home safe and sound... 

It was a long trip, and fortunately my son's discomfort did not get worse during the journey.

It is an unusual time to be home, since we weren't supposed to be here.

"FOUND" time is a gift.

This week we were supposed to be on a beach in northern spain, we had rented a house right on the water.  The two highlights were going to be a visit from my son's bud who was taking a detour on a motorcycle ride through Spain to spend a couple of days with us, and the opportunity to see my cousin who was arriving in Barcelona a day before we were supposed to leave...

"El hombre propone y Dios dispone" my father always said... (translated it means "Man Plans but God ultimately Decides"  - it sounds better in Spanish ;-)

I am still so impressed with the boys who did not complain a single word for leaving early or having a 38 hour journey home... 

I think we all felt like it was the right call... and we hope to make some new progress this week on his condition.  If nothing else, he is in his physical discomfort in the comfort of his own home... and that makes a difference.

But, moments are full of silver linings. 

I had a great run this morning with a dear friend I love - and the run was necessary, physically and emotionally.

Here is the best part of coming home (besides my son being back and getting some quicker medical help)... My cousin Carmen whom I wrote about years ago... she suffered a virus in her brain that put her in a coma for weeks.  I wrote about her because she was expected never to return to any kind of life.  We expected her to be "dead" by all metrics except that her heart was still beating.  Well through the amazing perseverance of my uncle (her father) and her own, she now sits up in a wheel chair,  holds your hand knowingly, and is starting to be able to answer some questions with motions of her hand.  She still cannot talk or move, but she is "present" and with us.

While it is extremely sad to see her in this condition, and often in great pain and discomfort, conscious it seems of her own condition.  She is making slow progress and we are hopeful that she will be able to start communicating in some way...

Well, she is coming to Baltimore (Johns Hopkins Hospital) and she arrives this week!  She is getting a procedure on her hip or legs (dont know the details) and they are also going to examine her to see if they can help her in any way to continue to improve mentally.

Regardless of the outcome of her visit, having her here is going to be a big undertaking (she is coming with 9 people and 11 bags). And, now I get to be here to help her, my uncle, and my nieces find their way from the airport to their hotel and help them settle in.

It will be amazing having them here for a few weeks and being here when they arrive will be a special moment that I very much looking forward to...

Also looking forward to a less than full throttle week, with some fun and relaxing moments with the family and friends... 

Moments with those we love... 

It's the only thing we need...

Regardless of which side of the pond you are on...

JOY is JOY...

Silver linings are still made of silver ;-)  

in harmony,

Nestor

Woke Up In Norway

So, I woke up in Norway, Oslo to be exact a few hours ago.

I am now in Copenhagen, Denmark.   

A weird way to get home from Barcelona, but when you are buying four last minute tickets home, you take what you can take. 

All in all, this trip will take us about 37 or so hours door to door and we are enjoying our way through it. 

Truth is, my son has been working through some medical issues that have persisted for nearly 7 months now. 

We are not used to dealing with meaningful health issues in our immediate family, so this is new for us. 

We were vacationing in Spain, a country that I had forever dreamt of seeing and experiencing.  We say Madrid, Sevilla and Barcelona but decided to cut the trip in half and head home when my son seemed to feel worse and worse with every day that passed. 

Many thoughts fill my head as we navigate this new challenge... 

The first overwhelming feeling is one of guilt.  I feel so very guilty for not having greater empathy for so many friends and acquaintances who have suffered for so long with medical issues with their children.  I have always been “generically thoughtful” but not truly and meaningfully empathetic.  As I see my son struggle, and as we deal with the uncertainty, I am overcome by empathy for so very many parents I know... who have dealt with their childrens’ epileptic seizures, depression, serious operations, and countless other medical challenges.  I realize that as serious as our issue is, it’s very likely of far lesser consequences than many... it’s the uncertainty that is disconcerting... the not having found a solution... the seeing your offspring in pain and discomfort and not being able to help them that can so quickly lead to disharmony in parents... “Wishing” they could live their children’s pain... wishing I could feel the discomfort instead of him.

I think about my parents... and I have a new appreciation and empathy for them.  In a small way, I can taste a little more of their pain and my heart hurts for them.  I think of our friends who lost their son two years back and I can taste just a little minuscule part of their pain and my heart hurts for them.  I can only imagine the gaping hole in their hearts and in their Iives that losing a child leaves... and my parents lost two...

 The second overwhelming feeling is one of want. I so very much want my son to feel better, and there is little we can do right now.  My wife has engaged multiple caring and intelligent doctors.  Friends who have been through or have had children go through this type of situation all say you need to just give things time and work through it... The wanting for my son to feel better borders closely on the “wishing” line - but all we can do is follow the doctor’s orders and wait and see and then try something else.  It is a fantastic exercise in taking things one day at a time... not getting ahead of ourselves in a good or bad way... just allowing the moment to be the moment.

I am so very impressed with my boys... they are so very willing to figure it out as we go... they are agreeable and affable. 

When I was a teenager, I am fairly certain I would have struggled with our yearly vacation being cut in half (in the hypothetical world that we would have taken a yearly vacation ;-) I would have struggled with missing the “beach” and best part of the trip.  I would have “wished” that we didn’t have to go back to the US immediately.  In fact, I think just years ago, I would have struggled with “wishing” in a situation like we are in, in all kinds of ways. 

Maybe it’s being a father... 

Maybe it’s getting older... 

Maybe it’s embracing harmony... 

But, these days I live one moment at a time...

and I accept the IS in my moments better than I ever did before...

My son felt worse yesterday morning, so we looked at the options... we wanted him to feel better, we didn’t want him to feel really ill in a foreign land and have to deal with foreign hospitals, we want to see if we can start the next treatment sooner... so in a moment we decide - “time to leave...” and we do.  And, the boys agree and gracefully, willingly and collaboratively pivot change plans and come along. 

I feel grateful to have the means to do whatever we need to do to get home. 

I feel largely helpless in truly being able to affect and resolve my son’s discomfort. 

But, I can get him home. 

And, the disappointment of the trips end, and not seeing his high school bud who was going to meet us at the beach... we all just accept it.  And, I am proud of him... And, I am hopeful that going home early may help us try a new medicine sooner and find comfort sooner.  

It hurts me to see my son in pain.

It hurts me to see my wife in pain, as she struggles to figure out what else we could be doing. 

And, I accept it wholly.  I appreciate that this is an opportunity for him to possibly take his health more seriously as he grows... I appreciate that this is an opportunity for him to see how much he is loved... I appreciate that this is an opportunity for us as a family to get a little clearer on what truly matters... I appreciate that this is an opportunity for ME to understand more clearly what really matters... 

We had a nice trip to Spain.  It’s a beautiful country... and it’s just another country.

It became so clear to me that visiting new places has little to nothing to do with the new places and EVERYTHING to do with experiencing them in joy with people you love... 

Being in the “perfect” place on earth, when the people you love are hurting means nothing... there is no joy in that...  It’s all about experiencing them together...

It’s not about being in beautiful places... it’s about SHARING beautiful experiences in beautiful places... it’s about experiencing JOY together that makes experiencing anything worthwhile...

So, last night the four of us made our way into a beautiful little hotel in Oslo for a 3 hour nap before the second leg of our three leg trip.  And, we were happy... my son seemed to be feeling better... and we were on our way home... experiencing a new place together... 

I felt moments of disharmony during the day - and it wasn’t from wishing that we didn’t have to come home... it was from not being able to buy a ticket on the shorter, more concise route... I ran around the airport from the counter to the airline office to the travel agent trying to buy a ticket and unable to do so despite being there with plenty of time... it was from not being able to find a television so that we could watch the World Cup game together while hanging at the airport for 4 hours... it was from wishing that the flight out of Barcelona hadn’t been an hour late so that our 3 hour nap could have been 4 and my family could have been more rested... it was the little things... and it was truly moments of disharmony wrapped in full acceptance and gratitude...

Yes, I want my son to feel better, and I can control very, very little of that.   

I want to get my son home, and we are doing what we need to make that happen. 

Ultimately, we had a nice week... we saw a beautiful country... and we found moments together where we shared joy...  

And...

we ended the trip early.

A few hours ago, I woke up in Oslo, Norway... 

grateful that my son felt a little better... 

more conscious and empathetic of my parents and so many dear friends... 

and very conscious of the IS that I, and we, are living... and all that it is teaching us... 

I am proud of my boys and deeply grateful for my family. 

I am proud of my wife and her unwavering clarity about what matters most... 

I am still learning.

We have a 5 hour layover here in Copenhagen...   

The third and final airport stay for this last leg home... 

Norway and Denmark look like such beautiful places to visit...  

We will come back someday. 

... I see the discomfort again in my son’s face... and the temptation to wish I could feel it for him returns... 

For now

we sit

and wait... 

and take it

moment

by  

moment... 

in harmony, 

Nestor

One Thought

There is

one

single

thought

that resets all disharmony for me, 

almost instantly. 

No matter what is going on... 

If I feel off... 

I ask myself, 

”How many BILLIONS of people in the world would trade places with me right now?” 

Think about that... 

Of the 7.3 Billion people on earth, how many live in greater peace, with more comfort, with greater opportunity? 

Truth is the vast majority of the worlds population would trade problems with me in a heartbeat. 

That helps me put my life in context! 

Heck... not just the 7.3 Billion now, but if the approximately 100 Billion that have ever lived... how many would trade places? 

Conparison is often the “thief of joy”, but that is only because we focus on the very few that have something in their life we wish we had... 

but

zoom

out! 

The time we have been fortunate enough to have been born in... 

The country we have been fortunate enough we have been fortunate enough to be born in... 

”How many Billions would trade place with you RIGHT NOW?”...

A single thought... 

A powerful truth... 

A transformative moment...

of context. 

in harmony, 

Nestor

Analog vs Digital!

Clashing thoughts in my brain this morning...

but this one seemed to make me smile the most,

and SEE what it is I try to see most clearly.

I remember being WOWed by CDs when they came out... the clarity of the music was amazing.

And, I remember learning about the difference between analog and digital.

ANALOG - (per Dictionary.com) is 

relating to or using signals or information represented by a continuously variable physical quantity such as spatial position or voltage.

Whereas,

DIGITAL - (also per Dictionary.com) is

(of signals or data) expressed as series of the digits 0 and 1, typically represented by values of a physical quantity such as voltage or magnetic polarization.

Expressed in other terms, analog is a continuous signal... in our TVs it was UHF or VHF (very high frequency or ultra high frequency) on the radio it was AM or FM (Amplitude or Frequency Modulation).

And, the issue with ANALOG is that the signal was often hard to reproduce... REMEMBER?

you had to find the absolute, exact place on that radio dial for the sound to be good, and then you'd drive and in a mile or two, it would suck again!

Analog had TWO really big issues....

- It was hard to "dial" in exactly so the sound was often unclear or imperfect.

- AND, OTHER SIGNALS got in the way!  The reason we got "fuzzy" sound and "unclear" pictures is because in the continuous streaming of data that was continuous by nature - STUFF got in the way and CONFUSED, ALTERED, or simply CONVOLUTED the signal and thus the sound or the picture.

Then CDs came along... DIGITAL music... EVERY note, EVERY pixel becomes a 0 or a 1 for an instant, and then in the next instant it becomes a 0 or a 1 again.  a 0 is always a 0, and a 1 is always a 1, and each micro moment is CLEAR... and sounds amazing or looks amazing.  Think about our television picture today and the sound of music today.  You no longer need the ridiculously big speaker because the SOUND ITSELF is PURE!

HARMONY and DISHARMONY - when you understand them... are 0 and 1 - they are clear.

Without the concept of Harmony and Disharmony - how we feel is "continuous", we don't separate our moments, we try to "dial" ourselves in, and then the moment changes and we don't feel right again... something has shifted.

HARMONY and DISHARMONY in the moment give us clarity and the possibility of perfection, in more of our moments... and better than "perfection" probably "deliberateness".

Harmony gives us something to compare to, to measure, to adjust to...

The concept, much like the DIGITAL signal, is to deliberately drive each moment to being a 1 or to notice if its a 0, not to simply feel life in its continuity without the ability to dictate the moment.  

Harmony helps us protect from the random and competing signals in our brains and forces them into part of the IS of our moment, so that we have to from ALL of our signals select our 0 or 1...

Harmony is seeing our lives through our big 65" HD TVs.., instead of seeing our lives through our 20" black and white analog TV trying to watch cartoons or cowboy movies on channel 20.

Harmony is listening to our lives in digital stereo, and not hearing the scratching buzz of static...

Get DIGITAL!

Get HARMONY!

Get it?

Made me smile...

and the comparison inspired me...

in it,

Nestor

Transactional vs Transformational

I have at times heard the term "transactional" used in relationships...

and, it is so very descriptive of how many relationships are or evolve...

I notice two types of relationships (and there are probably more), or maybe it's two types of conversations that ultimately define the flavor of relationships:

TRANSACTIONAL

and

TRANSFORMATIONAL

Transactional conversations have by definition an exchange... I need this, you need that.  I need to do this, you need to do that.  There is always something being scheduled or given or taken as part of moving things forward.

Most of our relationships in our lives, certainly at work, tend to be transactional.

Transformational conversations are discussions where nothing is taken or given other than ideas... and the exchange is in the spirit of evolving of understanding of "transforming" ourselves into the next version of ourselves...

While transactional conversations are essential to the tactical execution and progression of our lives...

Transformational conversations are essential to the evolution and progression of our soul... of our being.

The world defaults to transactional... it's not only an emotionally easier place to hang out, there is a whirlwind of things that always need to be addressed that are easy to get sucked into...

Transformational conversations are less linear, less tangible, less clear at times as to whether progress of any kind is actually being made... but they are also so very necessary to pull us away from the daily consumption of the little stuff.

Each of us has a different appetite for these different types of conversations... and we have to be mindful and respectful of each other's need for and comfort in this space...

But, I encourage you to think more about the types of conversations that fill your days and fill your mind...

And, I encourage you to seek, engage and stay in transformational conversations as much as you can... as much as you can handle...

Transformational conversations and relationships may exhaust you, but they fill us... transactional ones consume us... 

Though, I think that may possibly vary by individual.  We may all be fulfilled by different types of energy... I suspect that and respect that.  And, I do believe even if true - transactional fulfillment is short term satisfaction whereas transformational fulfillment becomes a part of your foundation of who you are and how you see the world.

Transformational ones are the conversations where you explore

your dreams...

your fears...

your doubts...

your wonder...

your possibilities...

your aspirations...

your BEING...

OUR BEING...

the reasons for our existence, the meaning of our lives, the purpose of our days...

and, they are conversations that start to make sense and become clearer, but they take a lifetime of dedication and patience and persistence...

Transactions while necessary aren't our purpose nor our meaning...

And, a successful and joyful life requires a mixture of both.

Be mindful of your needs

and deliberate in your balance.

ALWAYS SEEKING...

in harmony,

Nestor

REFRESHing

The word

REFRESHING

came up at least 10 times last week...

as a compliment.

And, I started noticing it.

"Your leadership is so refreshing."

"Your approach is so refreshing."

I am not writing this to pat myself on the back, but rather to notice and be grateful for what I am learning and applying in my life.  And, I am sharing it in the hope that you see the possibilities in how it applies to YOU!"

The more I get involved with groups, teams, businesses that I have not worked with previously, the more I have been hearing that word... REFRESHING.

And, I love that word.

Who doesn't want to feel... REFRESHED?

I believe that leadership can be enlightened.

I think that people find "refreshing" a leader who

VALUES them

LISTENS to them

RESPECTS THEM (viscerally)

engages in meaningful conversation

applies reason objectively

tries to simplify not complicate

leverages common sense

calls nonsense, nonsense.

keeps it human

keeps it real

...

I am not saying that is what I "DO", but those are certainly the ways that I aspire to lead.  It surprises me that these attributes are not the everyday style of leadership... as they seem so right and clear.   It saddens me at times that they aren't, but then I realize its an opportunity for me to show more people what it might look like...

The majority of leadership styles that I come across fail to convey those things because they make the needs of the "task" at hand so much BIGGER & MORE IMPORTANT than the needs of the "people" on their team, or in their business that they will attempt to work with to resolve the task.

When the needs of the task becomes so much more important than the needs of people - then people become a necessary evil.

When the needs of the task need to be woven into the needs of the people in order to create a better path forward - then people become fundamental and appreciated as an integral part of the solution and the value.

REFRESHING?

Or maybe it's simply HARMONY... 

The thought that life RESETS in every moment...

The ability to come into every moment ready to understand the IS and reach for our WANT...

Over and over...

Life, like moments, RESETS and REFRESHES constantly...

It gives us the opportunity OVER and OVER to breathe, to appreciate, to attempt...

Life is inherently REFRESHING...

For those that allow it to flow...

And, for those that resist -

that push against or deny the IS of the moment -

for those who try to linger in the past -

for those who can't escape fear or wishing for things they can't control -

for those who think they know what life is already about and what the answer is...

For those...

it doesn't feel refreshing at all...

Who are you?  Who do you want to be?

Breathe

Deeply...

New Moment.

Reset.

REFRESH!

in harmony,

Nestor

Priorities...

I keep thinking about Gandhi's quote that I shared a few days ago...

"Actions express priorities..."

I was thinking...

When my father died last year, we made decisions immediately.

I bought tickets to go to Peru for the the next day.

We cancelled our plans as a family.  

My son cancelled his trip to Los Angeles.

Work would sort itself out.

We made decisions immediately and without regret.

When my son was in the hospital last year, he was the priority.

I almost never travel on my boys' or my wife's birthday... almost never.  It's a day I keep clear on my agenda.

When things truly are priorities - they make decisions easy.

Life is all the same... I am the same... it is just that for "certain" things that I deem "most" important - I make decisions differently.

Based on the way I have been living my life I have only two priorities currently - family and work, and they are not necessarily in that order.  "Me" doesn't make the list... at least not the top two.  So taking care of myself hasn't been my priority.  And, as I think about things, the two things which I believe need to be the most important priorities in my life are my health and how I choose to spend my time.  And yet, I am almost never willing to "drop everything" to take care of those two...

What if...

What if I lived my life with CLEARER and MORE DELIBERATE priorities?

What if instead of allowing myself to negotiate with myself all of the time, "well, push hard now at work and next month you can take more time to work out", I actually held my priorities as priorities?

Depends... do I regret my current priorities?

I am not sure that I would use "regret" as I am choosing them deliberately.

But, I they are simply NOT the priorities, or better stated, the BALANCE of my priorities as I WANT them to be.

Clearly if someone dies - there is no alternative but to "be there" or "not be there".  

Some things in life leave us no "alternative option" - either we participate or we don't.

It's the things that we do everyday...

The things that are more fluid and "If I dont do it today, I can do it tomorrow" that become more "negotiable"...

And, it is those things that define our life and in many ways how joyfully we live it.

I want to work out at least 4 times per week and ideally 5 or 6.

I don't want to sprint to everything I do - I want to schedule my life with transition time.

I want to meditate every day.  I want to write.  I want to think.

And, I want to lead my company and our efforts.

A joyful life requires deliberate choices...

A purposeful life, a meaningful life, requires thoughtful choices.

When we start to give ourselves away... 

We start living less joyfully.

Realizing that I can't do everything is a start.

But, importantly, deciding what I will and will not do comes next.

And maturity and wisdcom comes not just when we start to make clearer decisions on our priorities, but when we FULLY accept the trade-offs to the point where they don't even feel like trade-offs.

I will keep choosing to work hard... but I am going to draw more boundaries...

Life is compromise.

Life is decisions.

Life is priorities.

I will attempt to choose more wisely...

More as if my life depended on it...

in harmony,

Nestor

Father's Day

I don't remember the last time I spent Father's Day physically with my father...

But, today, in my mind and my life, was always his day.

No matter where I was, or what I was doing, I would call him, not once, but usually at least 3 times and sometimes 6... to make him feel like somehow we weren't so far apart... and to let him know I was thinking of him.

I won't be calling him today... but I will be thinking about him continuously, and missing him.

Being a father used to be easier.

The boys were all home.

We'd figure out something to do together - often at Mom's direction.

Life moves on...

My oldest is in college.  My youngest at camp... Only my middle one is with me...

As we get older, as father's, our role changes.

Our job is to run out in front of our children... to live our own lives and give them their choice of lessons to consider...  We live our lives as best as we know how, and let them ignore us, observe us, and to whatever extent they choose to learn from us... from our failures... from our successes.

I think as father's we understand better that our children want independence... they want to be masters of their own universe, and our jobs is to help them without helping them... or at least, without being too obvious.

To the many fathers I know - so very many great ones... Happy Father's Day!

To the many sons and daughters I know - so many who no longer have a father on earth... Happy Father's Day!

To the many amazing mothers I know - who fill in the gaps, make the balance work and love their husbands - Happy Father's Day!

And, most specially, clearest in my heart today, to the father's I know who have lost a child...  I know today is in many ways is a sad and lonely day... it doesn't take away all that you were and are... Happy Father's Day...

Keep running out in front... you not only set an example and create lessons for your children, but for all of the young ones who know you... live true and transparently...  The lessons of our lives as noticed more than we realize... both our failures and our successes.

Being a father used to be easier.

I've never felt like I had to love my boys...

I've always chosen to love them...

they are a big part of my purpose...

and doing so has been such an amazing joy...

My father deliberately or not, was likely the most influential person in my life.  He left me so very many lessons to consider... Watching his life and learning from it, I now realize, was an amazing gift...

I will try to continue to run out in front of my own boys, and thus far have left a trail of failures and a few successes for them to consider... I try to own all of them... and make that a lesson onto itself...

As they pick up their own pace

and start to make a life of their own...

in harmony,

Nestor

TO YOU...

I value your time... 

I do!

And, I value mine.

I want to USE my words AND my time 

wisely.

I want WHAT I say 

to matter

to be meaningful

to be helpful

insightful

useful

relevant

to 

YOU!

I find that it makes a difference -

to be mindful and deliberate

with my words...

with my time...

and to think of 

YOU

first!

In what I choose to say...

or as importantly,

what I choose NOT to say...

In my mind - when I talk to people at work, at home, at play...

I think to myself...

Where are you?

What do you need?

What are you struggling with?

What are you dreaming about?

What are you afraid of?

I think through those things as I also consider...

Where am I?

What do I need?

What is my fear?

What are my dreams?

And then - I try to find our thread...

Where / How can we connect so that we can hear each other?

So that we can EMPATHIZE with each other? 

UNDERSTAND each other?

INSPIRE each other?

LEARN from each other?

So that we can...

CONNECT.

What matters... ultimately...

Is to help each other

to create a bridge

from our fears

to our

dreams...

And, we have the opportunity to do that...

in every conversation, and

in every moment.

I mean it...

I value your time...

and mine.

I want to use my words 

and my time

wisely.

I want what I say

to matter,

be meaningful,

be helpful,

be relevant...

TO YOU!

It makes ALL the difference...

in harmony,

Nestor

High Expectations vs Perfection

I don’t know that we consider enough the difference between

”high expectations” 

and

”perfection”. 

But, I think that may be at the heart of some of my struggle... 

I often think to myself and sometimes say out loud some version of...

”I have high expectations in life... I want it to matter.  I want it to be meaningful.  I want it to be joyful.  I want it to build momentum and actually get better over time.” 

I often judge people who I deem to be “perfectionists” - and see myself as “not them”.

And yet, as I look at the level of my disharmony on some days,  

I have to ask myself the question -  

“at what point does high expectations become perfectionism?” 

It is very seldom that someone will self-select as a “perfectionist”... but many of us take pride in our “high expectations...” 

When I think of it and in context... I ask myself the question - how much better does my life, do my relationships, does my work need to be in order to meet my “high expectations”? 

Maybe “perfectionists” are not people who expect “perfect”, but who simply always expect “better”.... no matter what the level of performance truly is... 

Theoretically, the difference between “high expectations” and “perfection” is that ONE should have a definition that INCLUDES a level of IMPERFECTION... 

Am I tolerant of “imperfection” on any level? 

I get that this can be a somewhat circular argument... but in simple terms, it helps me to reset my moment and make it more likely for me to accept the “IS”, the “truth” of my moment... 

Do I want to live my life with “high expectations”... sure. 

Do I want to live my life never being satisfied that “good enough” is “enough”?... heck no. 

Then - what how “good” is “good enough”? 

Throughout my life - I have slowly but steadily reached my expectations... and then somehow my expectations have shifted again beyond my reach.  Setting new, higher expectations is great as long as we are able to OWN the progress we have made to date and take credit for the expectations that we have achieved... but when we reset expectations constantly without owning the progress we’ve made... then we are perfectionists in disharmony. 

DEFINING what exactly my “high expectations” are will keep me from being a perfectionist... and that is a step that I have been too lazy to complete... 

And, people with “high expectations” who fail to define those “high expectations” become “perfectionists” and in the process they (or I in this case) start living a life with more disharmony. 

Live a life of high expectations...  

OWN that... by DEFINING what the heck that means... 

Or, risk peace of mind and a joyful existence... 

Think about it... 

I know I am. 

in harmony, 

Nestor

Why?...

Ultimately, there is only one question you need to remember...

WHY?

If you think about it, "Why?" dives in, "How?" and "What?" tend to leap forward...

"Why?" looks for the cause... the intent... the core...

"How?" and "What?" ask for the solution.

Something is off in my energy, in my balance, in my days...

And so, I move forward stepping from stone to stone across the creek of this day, remembering to smile and often lost in my own thoughts...

"Why?"...

Do I feel this way...?

Does joy seem a little more elusive than normal...?

Is it harder to get out of bed...?

Do I feel so hungry, so curious and so insatiable?

Am I not able to tap into gratitude as easily...?

Is my default starting with a wish?

It's not that life is not amazing... It's just that some days are more amazing than others ;-)

And, in those days...

I have to remind myself to smile...

bring my focus in to navigate the day...

and, then zoom my focus out to figure out...

Why?

Why is this day a little less sunny than the rest...?

And, then when I think I've found an answer...

Shift...

And I consider my WANT... what kind of amazing day & life do I WANT to create?

And then I look forward and

step onto the next stone,

minding my balance,

breathing deep,

and catching myself

smiling...

"why?"...

in harmony,

Nestor

6 years...

It's been 6 years since I wrote down the thought of harmony.  I found an old powerpoint, the first, where I tried to bring the concept into words and pictures.

I am amazed it's only been 6 years, as it feels like it has always been a part of me.

I am amazed it's been 6 years because it feels in so many ways like I am just starting to understand it and embrace it.

I am amazed at the 6 years, and how meaningfully and substantially so many aspects of my life have evolved, materialized and changed... and how many are still the same.  

I used a metaphor when I presented the concept of harmony in 2013...

"I have lived all of my life in someone else's house."  I built my story and search for harmony around this thought... and I concluded, "And, all of my life I have been one moment away from home."

One moment.

One thought.

One different way of thinking, approaching the moment.

Are you home? 

Are you living your life from a deep sense of belonging?

I feel like I have over the last 6 years found home... and now, I am trying to make sense of home... We evolve over time... our needs, our dreams, our drivers shift over time... and "home" needs to change with it.

As I look at the presentation of harmony from 6 years ago, I am amazed by how similar the concept is... and I wonder...

Was the concept of harmony so clear & powerful from the very beginning that it didn't need to grow?

Or, have I not grown, or not evolved enough in my own mindset and maturity to see the next phase and dimension of it?

Could it be both?

I had an amazing conversation with a "Dear Friend of harmony" in NYC on Friday.  He is helping me to try to find that next dimension.  I realized in sharing my thoughts with him and hearing his, that I love and am passionate about harmony in life - understanding it, sharing it, applying it... and I also realized so very clearly that I am so very much still a student in the class...

a work in progress... 

I heard my self say the words out loud and I found myself not wanting to believe them...

"It's not that the journey is better than the destination, it's that there is NO destination... there is only a journey..."

6 years in...

is there ever a level of mastery in navigating our journey?

I'm still committed.

I still believe...

and I, in many moments, still wonder...

in harmony,

Nestor

Every day

Every day  I struggle ... 

 Every day I achieve ... 

 Every day I consider ... 

 Every day . 

 My life will always be my life, 

 And the reality of my life will only change and evolve if I choose deliberately to live it differently.  

 And to live different  

 Requires me to think different  

 And to act and behave different  

 Every day.  

  Every day I struggle.  

 Every day I achieve . 

 Every day I consider.  

 Every day.  

  Does  my day start from abundance? From gratitude? From acceptance?  

 Where does my day start from deficiency? From frustration? From fear?  

 Does it matter where it starts?  

The power of harmony is that it takes my mind, my heart, my being...

And it finds through struggle the path forward toward want...

The thoughts of harmony reframe the conversations in my own mind to start with the is, the truth... 

It pushes me to accept the truth of both all that I am and all of that I’m not. 

 It pushes me to stand on the truth and all that is good and all that is not...

 It reminds me constantly of the amazing power I have to propel my life forward in every moment.  

 It reminds me of my limitless capacity to learn And ultimately evolve. 

 It makes clear the wastefulness of wishing.  

 It makes clear the boundless joy of deliberateness and action... Of the ownership,  empowerment, and accountability for my own reality.  

 It doesn’t matter where it starts ... 

 It matters THAT it starts ... 

 Every day I struggle.  

Every day I dream. 

 Every day I achieve.

 Every day I wish.

 Every day I want...

 Every

 Day

I

live. 

In harmony.  

nestor

Gandhi... again... a PRIORITY!

I so wish I could have met some of these enlightened souls...

"ACTIONS EXPRESS PRIORITIES"

Gandhi

Three words... expressing such a powerful absolute truth.

That's IT!  

We all talk about what is important to us... I certainly talk about what is important to me...

WHAT ARE MY ACTIONS?

Because ultimately, whether I like it or not, my actions ARE my priority... Not just "for the moment" but "IN LIFE"... because our MOMENTS ARE OUR LIFE!

What I SAY matters not... unless I also LIVE IT!

Here is the thing, and this is important... pay attention here...

It's not that the things you talk about, in business and in life are not important to you.  Not at all.  If it wasn't important to you... If it didn't mean alot to you... you wouldn't talk about it.  Because you are not stupid nor misleading...

BUT WE CANNOT DO AND BE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WE DEEM WORTHY OR IMPORTANT...

Our time on earth will not allow it... or probably better stated the hours in a day will not allow it...

So, we ONLY get to do SOME of the things we conceive in our minds as worthwhile and meaningful ideas...  We do the ones that we deem to be a PRIORITY.

Most of us aren't good at defining a reasonable set of things to do... SO OUR BRAINS, OFTEN ON THEIR OWN, DECIDE OUR PRIORITIES FOR US...  We don't decide them based on our conscious criteria... which is why I LOVE the thought... "LIVE DELIBERATELY"!  To me it says, don't let your life become your default priorities... priorities that are made for you subconsciously.  MAKE YOUR LIFE CONSCIOUSLY.

Somehow, whether we like it or not, our brains decide what we will do (OUR ACTIONS) and those things are by default (OUR PRIORITIES).

PRIORITY by definition is "a thing (or behavior) that is regarded as more important than another"... or more specifically, "to require being dealt with or done FIRST".

I want to make the world around me a better place.

I want to  love and be there for my family.

I want to breathe and live spiritually.

I want to learn to play an instrument.

I want to spend time with friends.

I want to turn businesses around.

I want to be strong and healthy.

I want to read.

I want to walk on the beach.

I want to write and spark thinking in the world.

I want to help change the culture of my company.

I want to help my company grow.

THINK ABOUT THE NUMBER OF THINGS YOU WANT FOR...

Think about the amount of time you have...

DO YOU HAVE TIME TO DO THEM ALL?

If you don't then YOU MUST DECIDE WHICH ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU...

WHICH TO DO FIRST!

I think our brains, by default, build momentum on the THINGS THAT YOU ARE ALREADY DOING... because if you think about it... you probably have alot more thoughts about how you want to do the things that you are ALREADY doing better and differently.

THIS IS WHY our brains MOST OFTEN decide our priorities BASED ON THE THINGS THAT WE ARE ALREADY DOING...

THIS IS WHY our brains VERY SELDOM lead us to change without our deliberate will and change of habit / behavior / direction.

THIS IS WHY our DEFAULT brains SHOULD NOT BE IN CHARGE of setting our priorities... because they will based on momentum spiral us into a vortex of triviality and more of the same...

WE MUST TAKE BACK OUR BRAINS... TAKE BACK OUR PRIORITIES... TAKE BACK OUR TIME!

AND MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS... on our PRIORITIES.

Yes - CHANGE the world, make your company better... do all of those things... (I am speaking to myself here)... BUT BE MINDFUL AND DELIBERATE WITH YOUR PRIORITIES... WHICH MEANS MAKE DIFFERENT DECISIONS TODAY!

"ACTIONS EXPRESS PRIORITIES"  Gandhi

What we do FIRST IS our priority - BY DEFINITION... 

Our priorities are NOT what we say they are...

Our priorities are what we DO... 

I don't know if that hits you like a ton of bricks... in a good way and a bad way...

I think about what I am doing and I am doing some great stuff... I am doing some meaningful stuff... I am doing some fun stuff..  I LOVE working, and I LOVE my company, and I believe I am doing important and meaningful things every day.  I love writing and here I am.  

AND, I am also NOT doing things that I very much want to and need to be doing in my life... I am missing moments with those I love, and not seeing some people who are really important to me, because other things are taking priority... 

I have priorities that I SAY, but that I don't choose to do...

THOSE ARE THEREFORE NOT PRIORITIES in my life RIGHT NOW (and right now is the only place I live...)....

I know I am belaboring this point - but its only because it's so CRAZY IMPORTANT...

TODAY IS YOUR LIFE...

WHAT YOU DO IS YOUR PRIORITY...

ARE YOU LIVING WITH INTEGRITY TO YOURSELF? 

meaning... are you living the priorities you want for yourself?  Am I living the priorities I want for myself?

We all have room for improvement... 

Don't feel bad about this in any way... OWN IT...

There is no past and no future...

There is only NOW...

What is your PRIORITY in life?

What is your PRIORITY today?

It's one and the same...

Live deliberately... Choose deliberately...

Live NOW...

Choose NOW...

"Actions express priorities..."

in harmony,

Nestor

Giordano Bruno

There are names we need to know...

There are stories we need to remember...

History does not define where we will go, but it helps us both to avoid making the same mistakes over and over, AND it helps us to acknowledge and be grateful for how far we have come!

Giordano Bruno was an Italian,

a poet,

a mathematician,

a philosopher,

a friar...

and he was tried and burned at the stake in 1600 because he proposed that:

The stars where just distant suns, with their own planets.  He posited that the earth was not the center of the universe, but that the universe had no center.  He insisted that the universe was infinite.  He pushed the idea that the earth rotated on its own axis.

Bruno was tried for heresy by the Roman Inquisition.  He was treated as the worst kind of heretic.

Even people who I admire, like Martin Luther, spoke out against him, kept his papers from being published and saw him as inspired by Satan himself.  Leaders who saw that the church was corrupt and distorted and were working to try to change it,had a limit to the "truth" they were able to see and accept.

Giordano Bruno was a genius, or a minimum, extremely intelligent to be able to understand with such clarity aspects of our universe that were so foreign at the time, and with such primitive tools to study them.

Giordano Bruno was a hero.  He did not back away from the TRUTH he saw, just because it would ruin and end his life.  He understood a new and ABSOLUTE TRUTH and he simply had to stand by it.

Imagine the strength of character and courage that takes...  Chances are his entire family suffered from his decisions...

I am reading a book called, "A World Lit By Fire" by William Manchester about the Medieval Times and the Renaissance.  The role played by the religious hierarchy is beyond terrifying... Man with absolute power is absolute terror... and the church for hundreds of years controlled the world in the darkest of ways.

I love Jesus, the idea, the possibility, the teachings, the faith... but we should look with objectivity at what "man" has chosen to do with his story and the power of his inspiration.  

If nothing else, it should make us more open minded and empathethic to the discussions of other extremists.  Now, I am NOT SUPPORTING IN ANY WAY any extremist thought, I am just proposing that the concept of an absolute right and an absolute wrong may not be so absolute.

I feel so very grateful to live in a time where we can share our thoughts freely.  So very grateful to live in a time where we don't have to believe something that we don't believe just to stay alive.

I also believe that we must not take those freedoms for granted, and not allow ANYONE in any position to obstruct science, free speech, free will, or independent thought...

When I hear the stories about these souls... my heart hurts.  I know it happened hundreds of years ago, but I feel deep empathy and compassion for their plights...  Injustice has always bothered me at a visceral level... it has disturbed me.  It causes me disharmony, WISHING that man was not as he was... And, then I try to shift to the fact that the world IS and HAS BEEN this way and refocuses me on what can I do to achieve my WANT of a more JUST world?  Maybe, one thing that I can do is to share what I see, what I feel, what I believe and hope it sparks others to both think more and share more...

For all of the problems with this world and time... there has never been a more enlightened time to live... nor a time with more transparency to all that goes on in the world.

Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake in front of many onlookers in Italy, because he could see the truth... a truth that the majority of the world was not ready to accept.

Is there any greater tribute to harmony...?

Is there any greater gift to mankind...?

What is the limit of the truth you are willing or able to see?

We owe it to Giordano, and to the MANY others like him throughout time

to remember them...

to celebrate them...

to learn from and be grateful for them...

and to continue to be inspired by them...

and do our individual, infinitesimally small part

to keep uncovering the absolute truth of the universe...

and of the amazing and scary dynamics that have and continue to guide our minds and hearts.

In harmony,

Nestor